I’ll spare you the specifics.
We were healthy young people, after all. Once we got used to one another, our desires simply exploded. To put it in the words of a certain fishing fanatic, it was a "merger."
I won’t say anything more than that. After entrusting Daifuku and Kinako to the Court Ladies... well, the details don't really matter.
Then there was the matter of ovulation cycles and whatnot standing in our way, but that didn't stop us. It happened almost immediately. I suppose age really is the deciding factor.
Wifey was getting tested every day. And I mean every single day. You understand why, right? We were doing the kind of things that required daily checkups. This was a common enough occurrence in the Galactic Empire, where late marriages had become the extreme norm. You could detect a pregnancy in its absolute earliest stages there.
Sure enough, the signs appeared.
From there, the super-technology of the ultra-low-birth-rate Galactic Empire took over. Nanomachines were deployed to prevent developmental errors and maximize the probability of survival. They filtered out harmful substances like tobacco, air pollution, and toxins in food. Because of this, the survival rate for fetuses had increased exponentially. For a young couple, barring something truly extraordinary, the child was almost guaranteed to be healthy.
With tech like that, I wondered why the birth rate had been so low in the first place. It was likely a combination of social stagnation, the recession, and a total lack of hope for the future. The Galactic Empire had since purged the people responsible for that stagnation, and Chronos had succeeded in creating a myth that the upper class had become a shield for the common citizens.
With those obstacles removed, the population crisis vanished. Both nations were now in the middle of a massive Baby Rush.
Now then... the problem was what came next.
"Her Majesty the Galactic Empire Emperor is pregnant. The Grand Chamberlain currently offers no comment."
Good grief, it was already scrolling across the Galactic Empire’s breaking news. It was insane. The news had leaked across the entire galaxy a mere thirty minutes after the pregnancy was confirmed. Who the hell was the leaker?
"The Kingdom of Chronos is currently enveloped in joy!"
Citizens were already swarming the Palace. Why?!
"This has become a problem..." Wifey groaned, holding her head in her hands while we sat in our usual dining hall.
"Why?" I asked.
"I completely forgot to hold a wedding ceremony..."
I’d forgotten too. Even though I’d been carefully gauging the timing and budget for our comrades' weddings, I’d completely overlooked our own. "We have to do it, we have to do it..." I’d thought, but the task had just been buried under a mountain of other work and forgotten at the bottom of the pile. This was the classic "Heads of State Tending to Forget Their Private Lives" problem.
Then Claire raised her hand. "Um, look, it’s very hard to bring this up at a time like this, but..."
"Ah, yes. Go ahead."
"I’m pregnant too," she said with a small smile.
I broke into a crude, delighted grin. Wifey didn't even get angry. After all, she was the one who had given me her blessing, saying, "I’m at the limit of my physical strength! Go to Claire’s place!"
However, I was immediately surrounded by the other men.
"You bastard! No matter how you look at it, this is going to wreck the shift schedule!"
They were worried about their workload. If Claire went on maternity leave, the administration might actually collapse.
"It’ll be fine! I’ll work until the very last minute," Claire assured them. "More importantly, what are we going to do about a wet nurse?"
Hearing that, Wifey clutched her head again. "I-I forgot... Since I never had one, the thought slipped my mind entirely."
"You... didn't have one?" I asked, surprised.
I didn't have one either, but my biological mother had vanished, and my legal mother, Okan, had left everything to a childcare robot. Still, I at least knew the concept existed.
"Y-Yes. Piggett and the Imperial Guards handled everything, even changing my diapers... There were no assassins trying to kill me, but I had to be protected from my biological father. There was even a fear that a wet nurse might kidnap me and hand me over to become Father’s mistress."
The darkness was just too deep. For Wifey, it was a complicated subject since he was her biological father, but that Maro bastard... I was glad he was dead. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, he was someone who absolutely deserved to die.
Brother-in-law Cyrus, nice work! Even if he was my father-in-law, some things are unforgivable. Anyone who makes Wifey that sad should stay dead.
At any rate, the wet nurse problem remained. It was entirely my fault. I should have been considerate enough to set things up. I was the one who actually knew about the custom, after all.
"I’m sorry... I’ve been an inadequate husband."
"No, well, I am who I am, and Claire is..."
"I lived in an infant home until I was one year old," Claire added. "I don't really understand how wet nurses work."
I’d stepped on yet another landmine. That’s right—Claire was adopted! I was failing at everything today.
Since the wet nurse issue had officially surfaced, I went around asking everyone for their input.
First, Melissa. "Us? Why would the daughter of a Viscount need a wet nurse? I’m already triple-working with theme park management, Public Security, and acting as a deputy lord. I’m busy. The older folks of the clan just looked after all the kids in the territory together. It was like I only went home at night."
That was very laid-back.
Next, Ren. "In my case, the legal wife was trying to kill me. I was completely neglected. I was essentially raised by a Beast Race couple who worked as livestock keepers. The wife also worked as a maid at the main residence."
Again... the darkness was overwhelming.
Finally, Rikochi. "In my house, my parents raised me normally. Oh, but from age three, I went to the local kindergarten and after-school care... It was a system where the whole community helped raise the children."
Finally, someone from a normal family! Letting a robot raise a child like I was might actually be classified as abuse in the Imperial Capital.
As I looked around, I realized that almost no one had ever actually seen a wet nurse. The other men were buzzing with confusion.
"Do wet nurses even exist?"
"Come to think of it, I’ve never seen one."
"Isono, what about your family?"
"I had an older sister with a big age gap, so it was like I was raised by her."
"E-Eddie, what about you?"
"I had one," he said.
Finally, the standard for noble society had appeared.
"There’s a woman named Maaya-san from a family of local governors serving our branch house. she happened to get pregnant around the same time as my mother. During my infancy, I was raised alongside Maaya-san’s son."
"That boy you grew up with—your milk brother—what’s he doing now?"
"John is brilliant. He’s been attending a university in the Imperial Capital since the war ended. Also, as a part-time job, I have him helping with the affairs of the Anheim Main House. There’s a lot of work to do in the Imperial Capital, and new nobles have to stay on good terms with the established ones. I leave all those negotiations to him."
He sounded like a first-year political secretary. Good grief... Eddie-kun was the perfect noble.
"Do you want to be King instead of me?" I asked.
"Drop dead."
"Yes, sir. I’ll stop asking."
"In other words... it couldn't be helped that the idea of a wet nurse didn't occur to us," I concluded.
"Exactly!" the men shouted, all pointing their fingers at me at once. So annoying.
But I suppose it made sense. Unless it was a family of career soldiers, the kids who went to the officer academy were usually the second or third sons—the ones who wouldn't inherit the family estate.
It was a bit late for this realization, but it hit me that I wasn't a noble in the proper sense of the word at all. Regardless, things were going to be difficult from here on out.
"By the way, Isono... what about your wet nurse?"
"...Can't you tell? Look at the state of me! I’ve already steeled my resolve to prostrate myself before Hanako-san!"
I was truly glad there was someone else at the same pathetic level as me. I decided I would help choose the wet nurse for House Isono as well.