"Wait, I’m participating too?"
I, Eddy, had come to Parcion with my wife, Minerva, under the guise of helping with route selection. Then, out of nowhere, Leo hit me with one of his typical spur-of-the-moment ideas: "Eddy, you’re entering the race."
I really wanted to punch him. That casual, carefree smile of his was infuriating.
"I’m not doing it. I’m terrible on a motorcycle."
In response, Leo simply handed me a poster. I looked it over... an automobile race? Formula cars, huh.
"Leo... you pushy bastard!" I grumbled, though I could feel my stern expression beginning to melt into a grin.
Damn it, Leo. He knew exactly what makes a guy tick.
"Well, jumping straight into a formula car would be a death sentence, so we’ll start you here," he said.
It was a street race for sports cars. I looked at the list of sponsors and participating corporations already signed up.
"Wait... this is on a galactic scale, isn't it?"
"Eddy-kyun, listen. The bike race ended up ballooning to the same size. Military contractors, automobile giants, the space industry—they’re all diving in headfirst. There’s a cutthroat competition over my bikes... so I thought I’d share some of these headaches with you, Eddy-kyun."
"...Hey, can I stop being your friend now?"
"Waaaaaaaah! Don’t abandon me! I’m begging you!"
"Use Isono instead! That guy actually loves cars!"
"He’s already signed up for the four-day rally."
"Is he an idiot? No, he’s definitely an idiot!"
"But you have a license, Eddy! A license for Strategic Light Armored Vehicles!"
Strategic Armored Vehicles. In short, they were military-grade adaptations of racing machines. They were essentially ultra-high-speed coffins with armor plating slapped onto the frame.
I’d always thought it was suspicious that Leo hadn't bothered to get a license himself, and now I knew why. This was the reality of it.
And what was that about a raise of one thousand Credits an hour?! I knew that pay bump seemed way too high! That bastard... his ability to avoid trouble like this was bordering on the divine. Was this also part of Jester's Ability?
Yet, the guy still loved motorcycles, despite the fact that the fatality rate in an accident was way higher than in a car.
"Look, I’ll talk to my wife first. Got it? If Minerva says no, I’m not doing it!"
There was no way I could make a decision like this on my own. I was a lord now, with actual responsibilities and the weight of being the Head of House for my clan. I had several hundred million subjects to look after, including those in the Chronos territories. To be honest, if it weren’t for Suematsu-san, everything probably would have collapsed long ago.
On top of all that, I had a wife to consider. I opened a channel to Minerva.
"Leo told me I have to enter a race... My beloved wife will tell him 'no,' right?"
"Why not just do it? If Leo-kun says it’s fine, then it’s probably fine. Besides, you like cars, don't you?"
It was true that I’d been caught browsing catalogs for family cars recently. It was a hassle having an Imperial Guard Knight drive me around every time I wanted to go out for a bit.
...Actually, if I was being honest, I was jealous of Isono and had been secretly wanting a sports car of my own. No, that wasn't quite right—I wanted one right now. I was still a guy, after all.
But even so, a race was a different story.
"...I have a really bad feeling about this."
"I’m sure something will happen," Minerva replied. "It is Leo-kun, after all. But... think about what happens if Leo-kun falls."
Everything we had built up until now would vanish in an instant. Even Princess Luna might turn into an enemy. One-oh-one and Kevin might join forces to restore the Zork to power...
In that scenario, they would likely team up with the remnants of Proone. The Galactic Empire, the Kingdom of Chronos, Lepsitol, and even Parcion could face total annihilation. Without Leo Kamishiro to bridge the gap, even the Latarnians—who saw him as their greatest advocate—might turn against us. The Ogre God Nation would likely follow.
I wasn't sure about Rosaria, but they would probably use the chaos to try and seize Chronos for themselves. Every faction would be vying for hegemony, plunging the entire universe into a Great Warring States Period.
Given Leo’s absurd levels of luck, this wasn't just a wild theory.
"Agagagagagagaga..."
A strange, strangled noise escaped my throat as I visualized that nightmarish future.
"Right? That’s why I think it’s best to go along with Leo-kun’s whims as much as we can."
"I—I'll do it! I'm in!"
And just like that, I found myself entering the race with the grim resolve of a knight protecting the peace of the universe. I had to protect Leo at all costs. If the Jester was involved, something was bound to happen. I had to root out any conspiracies before they could bloom.
I contacted Suematsu-san immediately.
"Suematsu-san, get the Oniwaban ready."
"By your will."
The time had finally come to use them. The Anhime House’s Oniwaban force. Minerva’s family, the Kari House, had contributed to its formation, which was comprised mostly of former National Army Special Forces. On top of that, we had hired elite ninjas from Lepsitol. It was a unit that could only be described as overkill.
Leading them was Suematsu-san, a man renowned as the most capable commander in our history.
Suematsu-san clapped his hands twice. Suddenly, the Oniwaban appeared. No matter how you looked at it, the man loved a theatrical entrance.
Suematsu-san issued the command: "Protect Empress Veronica and His Majesty Leo."
"Sir!"
The Oniwaban vanished back into the shadows. It was likely thanks to the latest Optical Camouflage Unit, technology adapted from the Transparent Zork. When I’d first given it to him, the man—who was well over forty—had looked like a kid on Christmas.
I wondered if this would be enough. If the sharp-witted Tatiana and One-oh-one also joined the security detail, things would be much easier.
...By the way, am I going to be like that when I get older? Should I be playing as hard as I can right now, like Leo and Isono do? It was a difficult question.
...Maybe I should take those singing lessons. I was starting to seriously consider finding a hobby that didn't involve a sword. I wanted to do it before my life reached a point of no return.
Ugh. I’d always believed that being serious was the ultimate virtue, but now that I had actual power, that alone didn't cut it. Especially when compared to Isono! From pro-wrestling to baseball, his connections were incredibly diverse, and that network proved useful in so many ways.
Even Katori-sensei had told me, "It’s about time you strayed from the path a little."
I contacted Minerva one more time.
"Minerva... am I a boring person?"
"I like you just the way you are. I never get tired of you."
I wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that.
"Leo-kun and the others are all so restless," she continued. "That’s why a calm, steady person like you is so necessary. Have some confidence."
I felt a surge of self-assurance.
"Well then, do your best!"
Minerva waved to me with a smile. As the transmission ended, I opened my planner. It was already completely filled with practice sessions to prepare for the race.
Minerva... your husband is going to give it everything he’s got until the very end.
Even if I might end up losing my cool and punching Leo.