I wasn't quite sure why, but Charlotte had called for me.
"Yeah, yeah. Want some?" I asked, handing her a snack set.
"I’ll take some."
There was no longer any need for her to keep up appearances.
"So, what’s the 'truth' you wanted to talk about?"
"It concerns my country."
"You’re at war with the Zen God Race, aren't you?"
"If it can even be called a war," she replied.
"Are they really that powerful?"
"Yes, they are formidable. It hardly even comes to a battle! Disease, terror, coups... the methods they employ are always far too cowardly."
"Ah, right. Their usual routine."
"But we are not incompetent. We used the power of the Jesters to crush their strongholds... but those bastards... they keep their main forces in reserve and shift their bases constantly!"
"Yeah, I get it. They don't even need territory since they just parasitize a nation and rot it from the inside. Those guys."
"As a result, public opinion in my country has been split between the nobles and the commoners who support the Jesters. Our very territory has been divided."
"I see... so that's how it is."
That sort of thing didn't happen in the Galactic Empire or Chronos. Here, the lords were basically convenience store managers. If a territory was destroyed, both the lord's family and the residents went down together. Because everyone understood that, the residents would cooperate even if their lord was a bit of an idiot. Even if a coup did happen, it was usually just a change of management. Coups involving external forces or anti-social ideologies were generally incinerated with missiles.
That was why Zork had created a privileged class like the Duke Association to try and dismantle society. Thinking about it calmly, Zork had been a tough opponent.
Now, the Zen God Race was specialized in terrorism. They were doing whatever they pleased.
"So, what’s the current state of the war? Since the country is split, I assume you're fighting?"
"It is not going well. I heard from a spy planted within the Revolutionary Force that a hero had been born in this sector. That was when I decided to entrap you, King of Chronos, and bring you to our side."
"If you wanted to entrap me, you should have just asked honestly."
"The only bargaining chip I have to offer is my own self as a Jester! Besides... I do not even know if our home country still exists."
"Ehh... sorry, but I'm all set on wives..."
Just as I was about to refuse her, the Fairy appeared in a massive close-up on a nearby screen.
"Heh-heh! Veronica-chan, come on in!"
"I am entering."
Wifey stepped into the room. I had a very bad feeling about this.
"I shall have an Umyai-bo."
"Yeah, yeah. What do you want to drink?"
"Something carbonated!"
"Coming right up... As you can see, our relationship as husband and wife is excellent."
I handed her an orange soda.
"Charlotte, what do you want?"
"Ah, that bright pink one..."
"Right, the fruit punch..."
The one that tasted like a sin.
I opened a bag of wheat chocolates and poured them onto a paper plate that was always kept in the conference room. I set it in front of them, then brought out more plates for some cheese-flavored snacks. I stuck with tea. I really did have a bad feeling.
"Okay, I'm sensing trouble, so let's hear it. For the record, I’m against adding more wives."
"Indeed, you should simply form a government-in-exile. As for the matter of a wife, it is far too late for that conversation anyway."
"Wifey... I, uh, want to have a child with you."
"Yes, yes. Saijo has married as well, so the timing is nearly ripe. We have little choice but to build colonies along the route in the opposite direction until we reach Rosaria."
"Understood. Help me with the work. Also, about that damn Parcion..."
Those bastards had tried to assassinate me! I would never forgive them.
"You should simply sentence them to forced labor for colony construction," Veronica said coldly.
"Won't they just rebel and make things more difficult?"
"You should advertise it as an opportunity to learn the latest technology and recruit them as immigrants. Once they settle in the colonies, sever their ties with Parcion. Have them marry into other ethnic groups. Eventually, they will forget their original purpose. As for the Parcionian organizations, plant spies in them to keep them under surveillance. Win them over while finding excuses to suppress them. Keep the members just short of being completely isolated and absorb them into other religions."
"S-so this is... Sovereignty Studies..."
Wifey was amazing.
"...The King of Chronos is a monster in his own right, but the Galactic Empire Emperor is truly terrifying," Charlotte whispered.
"If you spend your life rebuilding a broken country, you acquire these skills whether you like it or not!" Veronica declared. "So, what will the Lord Groom do? A subversion strategy is your specialty, is it not?"
"Eh, Parcion-kun is impossible because he won't play with me. Even if I call out to him, he won't answer."
"Even after surrendering, they remain so..."
The Parcionians were the type to just keep their mouths open and wait for food to be dropped in. Nearly the entire population was lethargic and domesticated. Even when addressed, they only responded with non-committal sounds like "Yeah" or "Huh." They were my least favorite type of people. They wouldn't play baseball or soccer, and their soldiers were so unmotivated that their proficiency was abysmal.
According to Tatiana, they were "exactly like the bad kind of Colony Citizens."
Hmm...
"For now, should we move on to the Parcion-kun Correction Arc?"
"What do you intend to do?"
"If we go with a violent method, we’ll station administrative officials from the Taikyoku Nation and turn criminals into Eunuchs. We'll establish a reign of terror and tighten the screws until they start cooperating."
"The Lord Groom wouldn't be able to stomach that," Veronica noted.
"You're right. So, I was thinking of making them play. Hard. Remember that public road bike race? Let's hold it in Parcion. We'll sneak a massive number of spies in among the laborers and manipulate the politics to our advantage while everyone is distracted."
"...See, Charlotte? He devises machinations as naturally as he breathes."
"Y-yeah. It’s terrifying."
"Wifey... I don't have any ill intent. I just want to live a fun life."
"It is exactly because you have no ill intent that it is terrifying!"
And so, the bike race was the next order of business.
First, I negotiated with the Galactic Empire's bike manufacturer through the Kamishiro Group.
Wait, they bought it? They bought the whole company? They bought that one with the rugged, classic design? They're giving me the data for the Shaping Printer?
Seriously?!
"Hyahhoo!"
With that, the bike race was announced across the Galactic Empire, Chronos, and the friendly nations. The venue was Parcion.
The Ghost with No Penis Squad from the Taikyoku Nation arrived on-site to serve as both tournament co-organizers and administrative officials. A riot broke out immediately, but the time for being nice was over. We suppressed them without mercy.
I made an announcement to the people of Parcion.
"Until now, both Chronos and the Taikyoku Nation have been too soft on you. Those who plotted my assassination will be thoroughly suppressed. To those who follow me, I offer jobs, wages, and stability. Call me a dictator or whatever else you like!"
It was the beginning of a reign of terror, de-gowasu.
But it was fine. I knew exactly when they were going to try and assassinate me.
It would be during the bike race!
"Oraa! If you're coming, then come at me!"