I, Sora Saijo, was at a complete loss.
"Saijo-kun! Congratulations on winning the Humanoid Fighter Tournament!"
The guys hoisted me up and began tossing me into the air in a victory cheer.
How on earth did it come to this?
I mentally retraced the events of the last few hours.
The initial cause was likely Nakajima-san. When Alyssa went berserk, Nakajima's Machine took a direct hit from a Corona Explosion and was blown out of the sky. The out-of-control unit had come hurtling straight for me. Unable to dodge, I was caught in the collision, which caused a catastrophic engine failure.
I was flung a significant distance from the Main Combat Area. After somehow managing to switch to the backup battery and using my thrusters to kill my momentum, I turned on my interstellar communications to surrender...
"What?! The comms unit is broken too?!"
But I was still an Imperial Guard Knight of the Galactic Empire. I had been trained to survive any and all situations. I cracked open the control box. Standard Machines were designed with a modular unit-exchange system for easy maintenance. I pulled out the spare Communication Unit and swapped it.
That should have restored the signal, but...
A voltage drop?!
"It’s outside!"
I shed my Shrine Maiden Outfit and stepped out in a Combat Suit designed for extravehicular activity. I had to replace the Power Unit. This was the one thing that couldn't be done from the cockpit.
First, I retrieved a fresh Power Unit from the spare storage in the leg. I used the emergency lever on the back to jettison the armor plating, revealing the slot. I slotted the unit in, turned it, and engaged the stopper. A green lamp flickered to life.
That should do it. The unit I had just pulled out was flashing an orange warning light. Checking the manual, it seemed to be a battery malfunction. The control board must have been damaged during the initial impact. I’d have to submit a formal report to the technical department later.
I climbed back into the cockpit.
"This is Saijo! I'm returning to the front... Huh?"
There was no response.
"This is Saijo?! Leo-san?"
"Ukee! Ukikikikiki!"
A massive crashing sound echoed through the channel. I had a very bad feeling about this. Suddenly, another signal broke through.
"This is Student Isaac from the Imperial Officer Academy Branch School! I've suffered a machine failure and cannot move! Requesting immediate assistance!"
It was Isaac-kun. He was a dedicated student, essentially a big brother figure to everyone at the Branch School. No matter how talented he was, performing field repairs on machine trouble was a tall order. Leo-san, who could do it effortlessly from the start, was the anomaly. Why did that man even bother getting an Advanced Combat Engineer Qualification...?
"This is Saijo, I'm heading to your position now!"
When I reached Isaac-kun, I found his machine with a shattered leg.
"Isaac-kun, are you alright?" I asked over the comms.
"I was hit by the Rosaria Army and lost all control!" he replied.
"Run a system check!"
"Voltage is dropping. The system is shutting down!"
There wasn't much a student could do in this situation. I checked the leg storage... naturally, it was on the broken leg.
"Isaac-kun! Do you have your tools?"
"They’re inside the storage!"
"Of course they are!"
This was a nightmare of a design flaw. I had no choice but to use my own. I tried to pry it open with a crowbar, but it was hopeless. It wouldn't budge an inch.
"I can't fix it!"
"I understand! I'll withdraw! Thank you for the help!"
He was such a good kid.
"This is Student Isaac. Machine disabled. I am withdrawing... sigh. That just leaves Saijo-san, then..."
He seemed to listen to someone on the other end, then turned his machine's sensors toward me.
"Um, Saijo-san, the Management Headquarters says..."
What now? I patched into the Management Headquarters' frequency.
"Sora Saijo! Congratulations on your victory!"
"Excuse me?"
As it turned out, those bizarre monkey-like noises from earlier had been Leo-san. He had snapped, climbed out of his cockpit, and gotten into a bare-knuckle fistfight with Katori-sensei. Both of them were disqualified. Despite the incredible feat of single-handedly routing the Rosaria Army, they had managed to leave behind a legend of being tossed out of the match.
And so, I, who had done absolutely nothing, was the last man standing and ended up winning the whole thing.
Piggett-san, seeing my completely hollow expression, patted me on the shoulder.
"As a soldier... there will be days when you must swallow things that make no sense. Stay strong."
Even Piggett-san looked like he didn't quite believe it. Neither did I.
"A medal will now be awarded by His Majesty the King of Chronos!"
Leo-san approached me. He was wrapped head-to-toe in bandages like a mummy.
"Co-Congratulations..."
"You really don't need to push yourself this hard..."
"Me... King... Work... Doing..."
"Someone, please stop His Majesty!"
Katori-sensei, also wrapped like a mummy, handed me a certificate of merit.
"Me... Teacher... Work... Doing my best..."
"Sensei, you're at your limit too!"
The two of them were promptly carried off on stretchers. Finally, Empress Veronica approached.
"Saijo..."
Tears began streaming from the Emperor's eyes.
"I am so glad you were here... Every last one of them is either a pervert or a complete idiot..."
"Ah... I see."
Two berserkers who fought until they were pulps, and a psychic who went into a total meltdown. Executives who committed treason over curry, and the Emperor's own disciple who incited them to form an Anti-Leo Kamishiro Chronos Encirclement. And the poor Rosaria Empire, which had been caught in the middle of all this madness...
It was beyond chaotic. I truly felt for the Empress.
"I hereby declare Sora Saijo to be the Strongest in the Universe," she proclaimed.
Wait, what? The Strongest in the Universe?
For some reason, the eyes of the Ogre God Nation People began to gleam with a predatory light. Am I the one being targeted now?!
After the event, I went on a date with Yuri-chan. She was very enthusiastic about our marriage now. Even her parents were beaming with pride over my title of "Strongest in the Universe." My own parents were no different. My younger sister even asked, "B-Brother... are you... actually getting married... to a woman?"
How rude!
Regardless, the wedding preparations moved forward in rapid succession. For the time being, we officially registered our marriage in the system. My income was quite substantial, and so was Yuri-chan’s. We wouldn't have any trouble living on our salaries alone. We left the management of our respective territories to our parents; neither of us had the experience to act as proper heads of houses yet. We intended to live a steady, sensible life. We certainly weren't going to imitate those berserkers who punched each other until they needed total-body bandages.
The actual ceremony was put on hold, as it was slated to become an official event of the Galactic Empire. Nakajima-san would likely be next in line. The men were getting married off one by one, and I suspected the others would start voicing their frustrations soon.
A private party was held for us, with even the participants from Rosaria joining in. I wasn't sure if it was a wedding party or a victory commemoration, but I suppose it didn't really matter.
A man wrapped like a mummy was working the DJ booth. It was Leo-san.
"You! Go back to bed and stay there!"
"Sleep... after this... Me... friends... important..."
"Go to sleep right now!"
What was wrong with that man?
And so, I, Sora Saijo, became the Strongest in the Universe... I still can't accept it.