Kawagon hates fighting.
Love and peace. Occasionally, a dash of violence.
That was right. I should just finish the dishes and get straight to work, to work...
"Katori-sensei... how long have you been standing there?"
But I was the Galactic Ninja Kawagon! Of the thirty-six stratagems, fleeing was the best! The Thirty-Six Stratagems of war. Um, was the author Buddha? Or was it Christ? Well, whatever. Anyway, it was a very old book of military tactics.
Among those tactics was Zou Wei Shang... wait, was the reading "Running Jo"? Anyway, I was getting out of here!
"Smoke ball!"
A clean slice. The smoke ball fell to the floor without ever igniting.
"If you have more petty tricks up your sleeve, hurry up and show them," Katori-sensei growled.
"Ah, yeah. Right."
If I surrendered obediently here, I would only get clobbered. I knew Katori-sensei well! Pretending to be lost in thought, I flicked a kunai at him. If I threw it from overhead, there was a high probability it would be dodged. So, I went with an underhand toss!
He caught it effortlessly. Strange. I should have completely erased any telegraphing movements.
"That wasn't bad. I'll give you credit for that one."
In that case, I would cut my hakama belt and use the distraction to escape—I pulled out a knife and... grab.
Iron Claw.
Wait, this was painful on a level that wasn't a joke. My skull was actually making creaking sounds! Just when I thought I had been released, he grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and hauled me up.
"Meow!" I protested. "Meow! Meow! Meow!"
"Shut up. Go on, we're heading to the Martial Arts Hall. You guys too!"
The Rosaria Empire's Imperial Guard followed us in a line. The female members stayed behind to serve as Charlotte's guards.
"Y-Yes, sir!"
And so, I was hauled off to the dojo—or rather, the combat training room.
"I’ll give you a warning," Katori-sensei said to the newcomers. "This King here will use anything he can get his hands on, so watch yourselves."
"Y-Yes..."
"Even though he looks like this, he's basically a Lepsitol Ninja."
Now then, preamble aside, it was time to pick a wooden sword. I looked for the usual Compression Wooden Sword I had tucked away around here...
"I moved those wooden swords to the warehouse," Sensei said.
"Whay!?"
"Because their power is so high it wouldn't even be a fair match!"
What frustratingly convincing logic. I saw normal wooden swords and one that looked like it was about to snap. I tried to hand the broken-looking one to the Rosaria Empire kids, but—thwack! Katori-sensei kicked me right in the rear.
"Don't go handing over a broken wooden sword in the middle of the confusion. Hey, you!"
"It is military tactics!" I yelled.
"What are you doing playing games during sparring, you idiot!"
"I want to win as easily as possible, sir!"
Katori-sensei pointed at me while looking at the Rosaria Empire group. They didn't seem deterred.
"Please do not worry. We are used to that sort of atmosphere," one of them said.
With that, I took a stance with a wooden sword and let out a sharp shout.
"Alright! Come at me!"
Or so I made them think while standing by to flee. For some reason, Katori-sensei started cracking his knuckles behind me.
"I'm the one who'll get punched if I try to run! Come and get meeeeeeeeeee!" I shouted in a tearful voice.
"Please, grant me a lesson!"
A young man who seemed to be the captain stepped forward. He really had the face of a protagonist.
"Ukyeeeeeeeee!"
Where did the King's dignity go? I attacked with the raw energy of a wild ape from a Marginal Village in the wastelands. My first strike was blocked.
Oh, he was strong. He used an orthodox style, much like Edge. In that case, I tried a thrust. Even within the realm of swordsmanship, there were styles that meshed and styles that didn't. At Rikochi's home, they equipped bucklers. At Melissa's place, they practiced an Ancient Style where the very theory of the opening move was different.
He parried my blade inward. Ah, I saw how it was.
"Time out for a sec."
I picked up another wooden sword and tossed it to him.
"I see," he said, catching it.
"You're a dual-wielder, aren't you?"
Rematch. I went for another thrust. He slashed and parried, trapping my blade between his two swords. He immediately rotated his wrists to counterattack. His grip... he was the type who held the hilt with the index finger and thumb without hooking the pinky. And on his side, he had probably realized I was the type who unleashed heavy slashes with both hands. As a countermeasure, he would likely use Dual-wielding to attack without pause.
So, I changed styles. First, I dodged his barrage of twin swords. Then, I jammed one hand between my arm and the wooden sword to create a lock. Into the gap where he was ruthlessly swinging down the other wooden sword, I thrust my free hand into his face. I twisted his head around and swept his legs.
As he fell on his rear, I pointed the wooden sword at his throat and declared victory. If he had tried to continue the fight from there, I would have tucked the wooden sword under my arm and flipped him over. I would have pinned him down and ended it. If he refused to admit defeat, I'd have put a knee press to his neck. When I did that to Isono, I poked the wooden sword into his butt and he got seriously pissed, so I stopped at immobilization this time.
"I... I surrender!"
Good, good. A peaceful conclusion.
Then, the men from the Rosaria Empire's Imperial Guard swarmed me.
"Your Majesty! Me next!"
"Only until I'm tired, okay? Wooden swords?"
"Bare-handed, please. With gloves on."
I put on open-finger gloves for the second round. Considering my physical condition, we limited it to three minutes. I mean, moving for three minutes was exhausting enough! Just then, my old classmates from the academy arrived.
"Leo, we've come to help," Eddy said, looking reliable as always.
Edge, who had just returned from his wedding, was there too.
"I'll take the next one," he said.
"Understood."
Yeah, yeah. Bare-handed it was. He raised both hands... oh, wrestling? We engaged in a lock-up. He slipped through and moved to grapple my torso...
"As if I'd let you!"
Whoops, he broke away. He was strong. We went into a lock-up again. But I never said a word about sticking to wrestling!
I pulled him down for Newaza! Fuhahahahahaha!
"You bastard!"
Nuhahahahaha! He tried to lift me up, so I slipped away and entangled his legs from below. And then, I locked in a heel hold!
"Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Defeated by a light-speed tap.
"Ah, well, he got toyed with by a ninja. Our King has too many cards up his sleeve," Eddy said, looking exasperated.
It was true; bringing an opponent into a field they were bad at was what military tactics were all about. I was tired, so it was time for a break.
"H-He’s not even out of breath... i-is he a monster?"
"I heard he was a Jester, but his combat ability is insane!"
"Well, naturally," Eddy told them. "He’s been on the battlefield since his teens. This is just how he turned out."
Sweat started to bead up on my forehead. I took a long drink of water. Then, Eddy turned back to the Rosaria Imperial Guard.
"Don't worry. Our King is an exception. The rest of us are still normal. Also, don't pick a fight with the women walking around in armor. They're several times more ruthless than Leo."
It was true. If you picked a fight with Rikochi, I wouldn't be able to guarantee you'd make it out alive.
In this way, we deepened our friendship. Battles without unnecessary complications were nice, weren't they? Afterward, while Eddy was sparring, the young men from the Ogre God Nation joined in as well. The battle maniacs fought to their hearts' content.