We had arrived at Alice's weapon shop for the time being, but it wasn't as though Kaori-san actually needed any equipment. I doubted she had much use for a high-end chef's knife either, so I was wondering what she could possibly buy here... when I spotted a distinctly bizarre corner next to the counter.
They were petit plushies of the kigurumi series Alice usually wore. Now that I thought about it, she had similar original merchandise over at her general store.
"Oh, how cute! Phantasm King-sama, are these plushies for sale?"
"Indeed they are. Each one is a mere 5R."
"Um, in that case, I'll take one of every kind..."
Just as Alice had schemed, Kaori-san—who had been raving about the costumes earlier—took the bait and bought one of every plushie on display.
"...Ah, but seeing them like this as plushies, they really are quite charming."
"Right? That pudgy silhouette is just the best, isn't it?"
"...So the real problem is the person inside."
"Excuse me? Kaito-san?"
They were certainly charming in their miniaturized form; even Luna-san would probably like them. As I watched Kaori-san shop, Alice spoke up as if suddenly remembering something the moment the transaction was finalized.
"...But I see. So Kaori-san is staying the night... which means she is also destined to fall victim to those notorious toxic fangs."
"T-Those notorious toxic fangs?"
"Hey, Alice, what on earth are you..."
This was heading in a bad direction. She had that specific look in her eye, the one she got whenever she was up to no good. I had a feeling she was about to say something outrageous.
Sure enough, my prediction hit the mark. In the next breath, Alice dropped a bombshell.
"To be honest, this Kaito-san here is a Mixed Bathing Master! He burns with a terrifying passion for sharing baths with women!"
"Whaaaaaat!?"
"You—! I was wondering what you were going to blurt out so suddenly... Kaori-san, please don't take her seriously. She's just messing around..."
"But you've bathed with every single one of your lovers, haven't you?"
"..."
"Kaito-kun?"
...I had. Unfortunately, it was an undeniable fact. N-No, it wasn't like I was the one actively making those situations happen, but when she put it like that, I didn't have a leg to stand on.
"In fact, if you count everyone besides your lovers, the number of women you've bathed with has reached fifteen, hasn't it?"
"..."
"...Kaito-kun? You... you're quite the carnivore, aren't you!? No, 'carnivore' doesn't even cover it—this is practically a scene from a Sake and Meat Forest!!"
"N-No, well... I-It's technically true... but there's a misunderstanding... or rather..."
Seriously, what could I even say? Since it was the truth, I couldn't exactly deny it. If we were strictly talking numbers, it definitely added up to fifteen...
"What's more! Get this! He has even pulled off a mixed bath with four women at once!"
"Eeeeh!? You're doing the kind of stuff you only see in those shady power stone advertisements!?"
There were indeed ads like that, usually showing some guy in a tub surrounded by beautiful women... D-Damn it. Alice was clearly saying this just to entertain herself, but the worst part was that she wasn't telling a single lie.
Also, while Kaori-san was certainly shocked, she didn't seem particularly repulsed. She likely suspected that I had mostly been swept along by circumstances and was simply giving an exaggerated reaction for the sake of it.
Still, that didn't mean I could leave the misunderstanding unaddressed.
"K-Kaori-san... please let me explain. While it's true that what Alice said is a fact, I'm not some 'Mixed Bathing Master.' Almost none of those instances were intentional on my part. I've mostly just been a passive victim of the situation..."
"Yeah, I mean, knowing your personality, Kaito-kun, I figured you weren't the type to go 'I'm gonna go seduce some girls in the bath!~' on your own. But even so, isn't it kind of insane that you've bathed with fifteen different people without even trying?"
"...I'm probably just cursed. Cursed by the bath."
It was honestly a mystery, just as Kaori-san said. It was strange how often I ended up in mixed bathing situations despite never seeking them out. Even if you accounted for the numbers being padded by the Six Kings Festival Eve Mixed Bathing System, these developments cropped up in all sorts of other situations too.
"Honestly, even I've lost count of how many times I've been humiliated by Kaito-san in the tub..."
"No, your cases were almost entirely self-inflicted..."
If anything, despite being a world-class shy person, I suspected Alice probably held the record for the most shared baths. Shiro-san was likely the runner-up... but I felt like Alice had her beat by at least one.
"...So, Kaito-san. Are you going to do a mixed bath with Kaori-san?"
"Why is the conversation still going there!?"
"Kaori-san, you should steel your resolve. This is an unavoidable event that eventually befalls every woman who grows close to Kaito-san."
"I-I see... Well, if we're wearing swimsuits... I might... somehow be able to handle it..."
"Kaori-san, don't you start joining in! Alice, if you don't cut it out, I'm seriously going to pull out the toy hammer!"
I was certain that Alice and Kaori-san were just being playful, but for my part, it was incredibly awkward. Besides, having the topic brought up made me strangely conscious of it, which was just plain troublesome.
But wait—was it just my imagination? Kaori-san actually seemed... like she was having fun. She looked happy.
Serious-senpai: "Listen, Kaito, this is how it works... Kaori wanted to be seen as a woman at least a little bit. Seeing you—the guy who wears his heart on his sleeve—flustered like this confirms that you're actually looking at her that way, and that's making her happy. In other words, this is a terrifyingly high-level flirting session masquerading as teasing. A lesser person would have missed it... God damn it!!"
Machina: "She popped!? Not in a gruesome way, but in a snappy, pop-art gag-manga sort of way!?"