Episode 207

Since I don't usually do special anniversary stories, please think of this as a little "fan service" episode. In response to the requests in the comments section, here is a glimpse into the Giant Galactic Empire Bulletin Board.

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1: Hello from the Delta Star System Our Corp, Rising Sun, is in deep trouble. Discuss.

2: Anonymous @ Outer Space Thanks for the weekly debris thread, OP.

3: Hello from the Underwall Star System Easy 2get. >>3 should Overdrive into a quasar and go boom.

4: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>3 Have a nice trip. Thanks for the thread, 1. So, what happened? New onaholes not selling?

5: Anonymous @ Outer Space Who even follows the Rising Sun threads? They’re way too niche.

6: Anonymous @ Outer Space What company are they again?

7: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>6 An adult goods company in the Alpha Sector. Google it, scrub.

8: Hello from the Delta Star System >>4 It looks like a military company is about to declare war on them. I heard it from an employee, so it’s basically confirmed. I don't know about the onaholes.

9: Anonymous @ Outer Space I want to have a sticky nebula session with Teclafort-chan.

10: Anonymous @ Outer Space Wrong thread, degenerate.

11: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>8 Who’s the opponent?

12: Anonymous @ Outer Space Declaring war on a company that makes vibrators? LOLOLOLOL.

13: Anonymous @ Outer Space Hey, is my jerk-off material going to be okay?! My body is tuned to the point where I can't even get off without holo-videos anymore!!

14: Anonymous @ Outer Space As a member of the 2D faction, I have no blind spots.

15: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>14 The great Master Turkasa lives in the Katsushika Star System, FYI.

16: Hello from the Delta Star System >>11 The Mercenaries. The PMC, not the restaurant chain.

17: Anonymous @ Outer Space RIP Rising Sun.

18: Anonymous @ Outer Space Wait, their opponent is a hardcore military corporation? LMAO. What the hell did they do? I’m rolling here.

19: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>15 For real? He’s the OG of the tentacle world.

20: Anonymous @ Outer Space I want to see Koume-chan's ahegao double peace. Quite seriously.

21: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>20 Spotted the Ando. Gross.

22: Anonymous @ Outer Space Actually, it’s harder to find someone in this thread who isn't an Ando.

23: Hello from the Alpha Star System Pardon the interruption. What does the word "Ando" refer to?

24: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>23 Go lurk for 40,000 light-years. It means an android fetishist.

25: Anonymous @ Outer Space Imagine thinking light-years are a unit of time. Also, look at >>24 being a total tsundere and actually explaining it.

26: Hello from the Alpha Star System >>24 I see. Thank you, Mr. Anonymous.

27: Anonymous @ Outer Space But isn't RS also a bunch of warmongers? They’re fighting wars all the time over there.

28: Anonymous @ Outer Space Skirmishes in Outer Space are a joke compared to this. Mercenaries is a massive corp.

29: Anonymous @ Outer Space Is their President still a virgin?

30: Anonymous @ Outer Space I can feel it... the premonition... of war...!!

31: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>29 If the head of the All-Galaxy Virgin Union ever got laid, there would be riots in the streets.

32: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>29 He shows up in the homo threads often enough that it’s a sure thing.

33: Anonymous @ Outer Space This thread is dead.

34: Anonymous @ Outer Space Who cares anyway? Mercenaries doesn't have an administrative wing, right?

35: Anonymous @ Outer Space And?

36: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>35 Meaning they can't manage what they occupy.

37: Anonymous @ Outer Space Can't they just install a puppet government after they win?

38: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>37 Not worth the hassle if they have to deal with guerrillas. Besides, look at a map. RS Alliance Territory is huge.

39: Anonymous @ Outer Space 2get.

40: Hello from the Alpha Star System >>32 Is Mr. Teiro a "top"? Or is he a "bottom"?

41: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>39 At least try to time it right...

42: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>40 I was wondering who you were talking about, then I realized it's the RS President. Based on his vibes, he's a total bottom. Huge wimp energy.

43: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>40 >>42 Can you two take the BL talk to the homo threads?

44: Hello from the Delta Star System >>38 But Mercenaries' ultimatum apparently demands governing rights. Specifically around Zayed.

45: Anonymous @ Outer Space What’s so special about Zayed?

46: Anonymous @ Outer Space RS-made vibrators are top-tier. The ergonomics are insane. Worth every Credit.

47: Anonymous @ Outer Space Ancient ruins... wait, no. Those are gone. Probably all eaten by now.

48: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>45 A metric crap-ton of WIND. That’s it. It’s a dead route, so maybe they want it as a weapons testing range?

49: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>46 Normies, please explode.

50: Anonymous @ Outer Space Who said I used it on someone else? Smug face.

51: Anonymous @ Outer Space A master... a true master is among us!!

52: Anonymous @ Outer Space Like I said, who cares. Let’s just play Online Tritt.

53: Anonymous @ Outer Space Hey, hold up. If RS shuts down, the supply of adult videos imported from the Central Sector will drop by over 90%.

54: Anonymous @ Outer Space !!!!!!?? ??

55: Anonymous @ Outer Space No way. That can't be right.

56: Anonymous @ Outer Space Do they really have that much market share?

57: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>53 Nice bait.

58: Anonymous @ Outer Space My station is in EAP Alliance Territory. Am I safe?

59: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>58 Nope. Everything going through the Alpha Route will be blocked by customs. There’s an agreement between EAP and Dingo about that. By the way, which girl do you guys support?

60: Anonymous @ Outer Space I'm a Marl-tan man. Boobs are justice.

61: Anonymous @ Outer Space Ugh. This thread is reaching peak degeneracy... Anyway, I’m for Liza-tan.

62: Anonymous @ Outer Space Seriously though, what do we do? We can't go back to old-school flat videos now.

63: Anonymous @ Outer Space Koume-tan lick-lick. Impossible. The birth-rate-destroying power of those holo-videos is too high.

64: Hello from the Alpha Star System I must cast my vote for the Koume faction. I firmly declare that "Ando" is a word of justice.

65: Anonymous @ Outer Space Holos are one thing, but if Ange Miku's videos stop coming, it’s a literal life-or-death situation for me.

66: Anonymous @ Outer Space I want to be stepped on and verbally abused by Bella-tan.

67: Anonymous @ Outer Space This thread is a bottomless pit of sin...

68: Anonymous @ Outer Space Why are you guys so knowledgeable? lol. Also, one vote for Lady Liza.

69: Anonymous @ Outer Space Marl.

70: Anonymous @ Outer Space Is RS recruiting for their Volunteer Force or mercenaries?

71: Anonymous @ Outer Space Marl-chan is cute. Hnggg.

72: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>70 They’re always recruiting for the Volunteer Force. Doesn't look like they’ve opened a special window for this conflict, though.

73: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>70 You... you aren't serious, are you?

74: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>70 A Guardian of Erotica has appeared!!

75: Anonymous @ Outer Space No, this is a legitimate crisis. Erotica aside, the economic impact is huge. My company is basically a satellite of RS. If they go under, we’re toast.

76: Anonymous @ Outer Space My corp just paid a fortune for a seat in their Alliance. Give me my money back!

77: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>70 Post your account info. I’ll donate enough for one beam shot.

78: Anonymous @ Outer Space I don't want to go back to the Enzio era... No more paying taxes for nonsense reasons...

79: Anonymous @ Outer Space I don't want to go back to the Enzio era... No more paying taxes for nonsense reasons...

80: Anonymous @ Outer Space Sorry for the double post.

81: Anonymous @ Outer Space You said it twice because it’s important. We get it.

82: Anonymous @ Outer Space This is 70. I'm actually going to do it. What's the deal with the Eighth Fleet? What do they usually do?

83: Anonymous @ Outer Space Post proof.

84: Anonymous @ Outer Space You actually signed up? Legend. They usually only have up to the Sixth, so the Eighth must be a New Fleet.

85: Anonymous @ Outer Space Six fleets is like 300 ships. RS doesn't have that much hardware, does it?

86: Anonymous @ Outer Space 2get.

87: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>86 Stop it. It’s not funny anymore.

88: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>87 Just ignore him. >>85 That’s probably counting the entire Alliance's strength. If you join the Volunteer Force, they’ll probably ship you to the front immediately. Godspeed.

89: Anonymous @ Outer Space Is this enough proof? I've unlocked my personal ID profile.

90: Anonymous @ Outer Space Whoa, a "Good Man" (Uho!).

91: Anonymous @ Outer Space I want to say "Handsome guys go home," but I can't diss our representative. I'm rooting for you. Also, use a tripcode.

92: Anonymous @ Outer Space Wait, you can apply online? I thought that company was obsessed with face-to-face meetings.

93: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>92 Hint: It’s an emergency. Anyway, what possessed >>70 to go this far?

94: 70 @ Outer Space Is this how you use a tripcode? Is it working? My reason? An adult video where you can't walk around to the back of the girl has no value.

95: Anonymous @ Outer Space Erotica is truly the greatest motivator.

96: Anonymous @ Outer Space Is there anything a shut-in can do to help?

97: Anonymous @ Outer Space Putting your life on the line for adult holos? LMAO.

98: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>96 Donate your NEET-bucks.

99: 70 @ Outer Space Who the hell...?! Someone just wired 100,000 Credits to my account!! LOL.

100: Anonymous @ Outer Space That was me. It comes with a "Mandatory Combat Participation" contract clause.

101: Anonymous @ Outer Space There’s no backing out now.

102: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>100 is glowing... A true hero...

103: Anonymous @ Outer Space Can I join too? < Volunteer Force

104: 70 @ Outer Space Wait, if I run away now, will I be arrested?

105: 70 @ Outer Space >>103 Come on down. You got any skills?

106: Anonymous @ Outer Space Since it’s a legal contract, you can just return the money. If you don't, the Imperial Military's Landing Force will be knocking on your door.

107: Anonymous @ Outer Space No way the actual military is coming. At most, it'll be some third-party Security Company.

108: Anonymous @ Outer Space If >>70 has heavy weapons at home, the Landing Force will come!!

109: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>70 I have a large vessel license. Used to be a space-trucker. Currently a NEET.

110: Anonymous @ Outer Space This looks fun, count me in. Does a Level 3 Space Vessel Repair Technician help?

111: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>109 A pilot! We have a pilot!

112: Anonymous @ Outer Space If it’s a modular ship, Level 3 is plenty.

113: Anonymous @ Outer Space If I join, can I talk to Koume-tan?

114: Anonymous @ Outer Space Probably? I’ve talked to her before.

115: Anonymous @ Outer Space ...Wait.

116: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>114 Sauce. Now.

117: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>116 Arrrgh!! I joined the Volunteer Force during the Battle for Alpha! I’m ashamed to admit it, but my body was literally throbbing during Koume-chan's speech!!

118: Anonymous @ Outer Space The Battle for Alpha? You mean against Dingo? You’re a freaking hero, man. What are you doing in a dump like this?

119: 70 @ Outer Space Where the hell are you guys getting all this money? I have enough to buy a Destroyer now.

120: Anonymous @ Outer Space I'll volunteer to polish the Beam Turret lenses.

121: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>70 Remember to buy a full module set. Keep the ship hull cost to about half the budget.

122: Anonymous @ Outer Space What is a Destroyer without turrets even supposed to destroy?

123: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>122 The cycle of hatred.

124: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>122 The hopes of the donors.

125: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>122 Giants.

126: Anonymous @ Outer Space When did this turn into a comedy roast? lol.

127: Anonymous @ Outer Space Wait a second. Even if you buy a ship now, delivery takes like three months.

128: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>122 Normies.

129: Anonymous @ Outer Space Modular ships are basically instant, aren't they?

130: Anonymous @ Outer Space The waitlist is backed up because of the WIND Crisis. >>129 Even for a modular ship, you're looking at two months easy.

131: 70 @ Outer Space Three months?! Are you serious? I might not make it in time.

132: Hello from the Delta Star System This is 1. You definitely won't make it. Standard time from ultimatum to war is usually one month.

133: Anonymous @ Outer Space If you're using a modular base, I’ll lend you my factory.

134: 70 @ Outer Space Wait, for real? Sorry for getting everyone's hopes up...

135: Anonymous @ Outer Space IT’S HERE!

136: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>133 Who the hell are you?

137: Anonymous @ Outer Space A Gigantech subcontractor. We’re in a standby period right now, so I can keep the line running for about a month.

138: Anonymous @ Outer Space Absolute king.

139: Anonymous @ Outer Space There are like a trillion people connected to Gigantech. It’s not that rare. By the way, sir, are you looking to adopt a son?

140: Anonymous @ Outer Space This thread is getting wild.

141: Anonymous @ Outer Space Moving a ship is one thing, but you can't fight with just that. Anyone know someone in a Security Department?

142: Anonymous @ Outer Space Came from VIP.

143: Anonymous @ Outer Space Came from VIP.

144: Anonymous @ Outer Space My old man is in a Security Department, but he’s never commanded anything bigger than a Frigate.

145: Anonymous @ Outer Space Came from VIP. Heard there was a legendary mercenary in here.

146: Anonymous @ Outer Space VIPPERs are so annoying.

147: Anonymous @ Outer Space I’ll say it loud and proud! Koume-chan is supreme!!

148: Hello from the Alpha Star System >>147 Hard agree.

149: Anonymous @ Outer Space What is >>148's deal? Has he been camping this thread the whole time?

150: Anonymous @ Outer Space Came from VIP. Where do I send the money?

151: Anonymous @ Outer Space I heard there was a war starting to protect our smut.

152: Anonymous @ Outer Space Actually, if RS vanishes, isn't that a prime business opportunity?

153: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>150 Check >>70's profile. >>152 Establishing a transport route is a nightmare. Plus, nobody lets you do shipping without a high Trust rating.

154: Anonymous @ Outer Space Crap, I sent money without the combat clause.

155: Anonymous @ Outer Space VIP.

156: 70 @ Outer Space >>154 I'll use it to buy a snack. Wait, it’s only 1 Credit?! I can only buy 5 Umai Bars with this! LOL.

157: Yaruo Riot @ Outer Space A former Imperial soldier makes his dashing entrance! Also, 157get.

158: Yaranai-o Riot @ Outer Space What’s the point of sniping that number? Think about it logically...

159: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>157 >>158 Fixed-handle fags, get out.

160: Anonymous @ Outer Space Wait, aren't those the guys from the former Navy Accounting Department who are famous on VIP?

161: Anonymous @ Outer Space I’ll try asking my grandpas. They were spacers back in the day.

162: Anonymous @ Outer Space How many people we got now?

163: Anonymous @ Outer Space Age for >>161. >>162 We can hire rentals for the remaining slots.

164: Anonymous @ Outer Space If Liza-tan asked me to fight in a tearful voice, I’d charge the front lines in a heartbeat. I’d die happy.

165: Anonymous @ Outer Space I'd die too.

166: Anonymous @ Outer Space I keep telling you, Koume-tan is supreme...

167: 70 @ Outer Space Update: 14 people, approx. 10 million Credits. Still short on personnel. Who handles wartime staffing around here?

168: Anonymous @ Outer Space The Mercenaries.

169: Anonymous @ Outer Space THEY’RE THE ENEMY! LOL.

170: Anonymous @ Outer Space 10 million? Damn, you really can buy a Destroyer now.

171: Anonymous @ Outer Space What happened to >>161? Did they die of old age?

172: Anonymous @ Outer Space The last donation project on the Central VIP board hit tens of billions. WE. CAN. GO. HIGHER.

173: Anonymous @ Outer Space Grandpas said OK. They said it depends on the pay, but with 10 million, we’re golden.

174: Anonymous @ Outer Space What are your grandpas? Mercs?

175: Anonymous @ Outer Space I heard they were big shots in the former Navy. One of them was a Cruiser captain during the Battle for the Gunma Star System.

176: Anonymous @ Outer Space REAL MILITARY MEN HAVE ARRIVED!

177: 70 @ Outer Space >>175 Can I get your grandpas' IDs?

178: Anonymous @ Outer Space Marl-tan is a virgin.

179: Anonymous @ Outer Space Sent!

180: 70 @ Outer Space Forty years of service, from Gunma to the Terze Suppression... Your grandpas are freaking legends...

181: Anonymous @ Outer Space Wait, what do you mean "grandpas"? Plural?

182: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>181 They’re twins.

183: 70 @ Outer Space The donation ticker is going crazy. What just happened?

184: Anonymous @ Outer Space Probably caught the eye of a pervy whale.

185: Anonymous @ Outer Space "Pervy" is just the default setting here. lol.

186: Anonymous @ Outer Space >>183 Someone made a summary...

187: Anonymous @ Outer Space Sent too early... orz. >>183 Someone posted the thread to a summary site and a news site.

188: Anonymous @ Outer Space Stop bumping, you idiots. This thread is going to hit the limit and die.

189: Anonymous @ Outer Space Commemorative post.

190: Anonymous @ Outer Space Commemorative post. Rooting for you guys from my couch!!

191: Anonymous @ Outer Space Commemorative post.

192: Anonymous @ Outer Space Here from New Neural NEWS. Good luck!

193: Anonymous @ Outer Space Is this finally our time to shine...?

194: Anonymous @ Outer Space Commemorative papiko.

195: 70 @ Outer Space This is insane. The Credit counter is glitching out. My hands are actually shaking.

196: Anonymous @ Outer Space Commem.

197: Anonymous @ Outer Space Commemorative post.

198: Anonymous @ Outer Space At this rate, we’re going to hit Battleship levels of funding.

199: Anonymous @ Outer Space Commemorative post.

200: Anonymous @ Outer Space AIM FOR A BATTLESHIP!

201: 70 @ Outer Space I can't hold this much cash in a personal account. I have to register a company. Management Company Name Anchor: >>207

202: Anonymous @ Outer Space Commemorative~

203: Anonymous @ Outer Space Sniping the anchor in a thread like this? Bold.

204: Anonymous @ Outer Space Anti-Normie Co., Ltd.

205: Anonymous @ Outer Space VIP Limited Corp.

206: Hello from the Alpha Star System "Koume and Her Pleasant Friends" would be most suitable.

207: Anonymous @ Outer Space Blackhawk Company.

208: Anonymous @ Outer Space We Co., Ltd.

209: Anonymous @ Outer Space Hella cool. lol.

210: Anonymous @ Outer Space Anchor incoming.

211: 70 @ Outer Space Blackhawk Company it is! That sounds badass.

212: Anonymous @ Outer Space Charge! For the "We" Fleet!!

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"And so, the RS 8th Volunteer Fleet has been established. We have taken delivery of the Battleships [CHERRY BOY] and [TECHNOBREAK]. The crews are currently undergoing intensive training; we expect minimum combat readiness shortly. While the legal representative is listed as Blackhawk Company under the individual known as '70,' the field command will be handled by the Sa-Suga brothers, who will each use one of the battleships as their flagship. Following the conclusion of hostilities, the vessels will either be returned or purchased outright."

Koume read the report with a perfectly straight face, her voice cool and professional. Taro looked up from the terminal, which was still scrolling through the chaotic neural net boards of the Alpha Sector. He stared at her, his jaw hanging open.

"No, no, no... This isn't real. There’s no way," he stammered.

His voice echoed through the silent meeting room. Every member of the Rising Sun leadership—aside from the unfazed Koume—nodded in grim, shell-shocked agreement. Since when did the internet become a military-industrial complex? Taro wondered, his mind reeling at the absurdity of it all.