246: "The World's Easiest Riddle" / "The Lonely Liar"

The World's Easiest Riddle

"B-Big sister..." I groaned.

"What is it?" Sierra replied lazily.

"How long are you planning to lie on my chest!? You should go sleep in a real bed!"

"Why? Is it no good?"

"It’s... it’s starting to get heavy!"

We were at the House Witch mansion. I had been trying to relax on the veranda, gazing out at the Japanese-style garden, but Sierra had decided to take a nap right on top of me. Specifically, she was using my breasts as a pillow.

"Fine. If you can answer a riddle, I’ll move," she murmured.

"A-A riddle? What is it?"

"What is the softest pillow in the world?"

"What kind of question is that...?"

"Come on, let’s hear an answer."

Sierra's eyes were barely open—if they were open at all. She was just drifting there, half-asleep, waiting for me to solve it. I thought about it as hard as I could, but nothing came to mind.

"I... I don't know."

"............"

"Big sister!? Did you fall asleep!?"

"............"

"Hey! What’s the answer to the riddle!?"

"............"

"I’m going to lose my mind if you don't tell meeeee!"

I shook her back and forth, trying to get a response, but all it did was make everything sway and jiggle.

---

The Lonely Liar

"Dear sister," I said, stepping into the kitchen.

"What is it?" she grunted.

This was the House Abitus grand dining hall—specifically, the kitchen. Naturally, even Milk, a staff member of the Noblesse, was entitled to her holidays.

The date was February 13th. The day before Valentine's Day.

Milk was currently dressed in her dedicated apron.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Chocolate. Isn't it obvious?"

She was tossing cacao beans and milk onto the lined-up plates. She didn't even bother with a scale, simply eyeballing the measurements with terrifying, mechanical precision.

"...To whom? To whom are you giving that?" I asked, my voice trembling.

I covered my mouth in sorrowful horror. My entire body was vibrating from the sheer shock of it.

"What are you talking about?" She frowned at me, a crease forming between her brows.

Wait. Let me think about this. My sister never cared about social events or seasonal holidays. I knew she liked to cook on her rare days off, so this had to be a coincidence. Surely, she just wanted to eat some chocolate herself.

In fact, if I told her about the actual holiday, she might just say, "Is that so?" and then give it away to some random person on a whim.

I have to avoid that at all costs. No, wait—I want it. I want to be the one to eat my sister's handmade chocolate!

I suddenly recalled the words of a certain person in the Royal Capital.

If they have no bread, let them eat cake.

Yes! Exactly! If there is no event, I’ll just invent one!

"Actually, sister... tomorrow is the day an older sister treats her younger sister to chocolate. It’s a globally recognized, incredibly important, sacred event!"

The outrageous lie flew out of my mouth before I could stop it. Is this going too far? I wondered, my heart racing as I waited for her response.

"I see. Then I'll make a portion for you too, Cafe."

"............"

"What's wrong?"

"I-It’s nothing at all! Ehe... ehehe... ehehehehe!"

With a manic grin, I began skipping around the kitchen with a level of energy that shouldn't have been possible in this world. I was getting chocolate from my sister! And on the eve of such a monumental event, no less!

"Still, dear sister, you really can do anything, can't you?"

"Do you think so?"

She mixed the sugar and the sweet powders harvested from this region with perfect accuracy. I was absolutely mesmerized by the efficiency of her movements.

"It will be done soon. Go relax."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

I retreated to the courtyard for an "elegant" tea time, mostly to hide the fact that I couldn't stop grinning.

Thirty minutes later, Milk appeared. I tried to suppress my pounding heart, but my eyes immediately went to her hands. They were empty.

"D-Dear sister!?"

"What's wrong?"

"T-T-The chocolate! Where is it!?"

"It's for tomorrow, right?"

"............"

Oh. Right. I did say that.

Calm down, Cafe. Get a grip. I can just eat it the second the date changes. Yes, that's fine. It'll be fine.

I spent the rest of the day staring at the clock.

At 11:59 PM, I was already stationed in front of the Magic Refrigerator. Right on cue, Milk appeared.

"What are you doing?"

"It is... it is the custom to eat it the very moment the date changes!"

"I see. Well, I've got bad news. Actually—"

Midnight struck. I tore open the door to the Magic Refrigerator.

It was empty.

Despair washed over me like a cold wave. To my devastated expression, Milk simply said:

"Sorry. A child stopped by as a visitor earlier. I ended up giving it to them."

"D-D-D-D-D-D..."

"What's wrong? Are you a horse?"

"MY CHOCOLATE IS GOOOOOOOOOOONE!"

I burst into tears. Even my stoic sister looked surprised by the sudden outburst.

"Is this event really that mandatory?" she muttered. Then, she seemed to recall something. "Wait here."

She grabbed the remaining ingredients and, in just a few minutes—using a little bit of magic to cheat the process—she finished a small piece of chocolate.

"Sorry. Next time I'm home, I'll make you a much bigger one."

"............"

"What's wrong? Aren't you going to eat it?"

"This event... has a custom where the older sister must feed the younger sister," I blurted out.

At this point, I was just piling on nonsensical, after-the-fact rules, but Milk just nodded.

"I see."

She popped the chocolate into my mouth. My face practically melted with joy as my cheeks went limp.

"It'th delithiouth..."

"I'm sorry. I'm poorly informed about such traditions."

She was being so incredibly sincere that I couldn't take it anymore. I confessed. I told her I had lied and that I just really wanted to eat her chocolate.

However...

"Is that so? Then I'll definitely make an even bigger one next time."

"...You're not angry?"

"It must be hard having a sister like me. I'm sorry for always leaving the house in your hands. Let me do at least that much for you."

I was so moved that I decided to push my luck one last time. "Actually, the final custom of the night is for the younger sister to sleep in the older sister's bed."

And with that, I crawled right in.