169: Using Defeat as Nourishment ②

I’d asked a simple, straightforward question.

Eva-senpai stared me down for a long beat before letting out a soft, melodic giggle.

"You’re already plenty strong," she said. "Why are you moping so much?"

"...I want to be number one."

"Oh? And why is that?"

I froze. Her question caught me completely off guard.

I... I don't actually know. Why do I want to be number one, anyway?

My actual goal was clear. I wanted to save people. I wanted to eliminate the monsters and the suffering plaguing every corner of the world as much as I possibly could. To do that... I needed to be the best.

Wait, do I? Do I really?

"...I’m sorry. When you put it like that, I don't really have an answer," I admitted. "There are so many things I want to achieve, but whether or not I actually need to be the best to do them... I'm not sure."

"Hehe, I like your honesty. People who reach the top of this Academy are certainly showered with praise. They're called amazing, cool, beautiful, cute, and strong. But what do you think all that really amounts to? I came here because I wanted to be the Strongest. And sure, I might be stronger than most, but it’s meaningless."

"What do you mean by meaningless...?"

"In the end, everyone survives by supporting one another. Even if you're weak, shouldn't it be enough if the person standing next to you is strong?"

Her words hit me like a physical blow.

Until now, I’d been convinced that the world wouldn't change unless I was the strong one. But that wasn't true. Even if I were the most powerful person alive—even if I were the Strongest—it wouldn't change the nature of things.

I think I knew that somewhere in the back of my mind. I just wanted a reason to keep pushing myself.

Still, it stung. The desire to win was there, burning in my chest, and I couldn't even explain what it was.

"But you are strong, Eva-senpai," I said. "What does the world look like from your perspective?"

"—Boring."

She reached out, grabbing both of my cheeks and laughing. "I mean, there aren't many people stronger than me, but that hasn't changed anything. The things I truly want still stay out of reach more often than not."

"...Does this have something to do with the other Eva-san?"

"Oh, now that’s a troublesome question. But... perhaps it does."

Eva-senpai was strong. Too strong. And yet, even she couldn't get what she truly desired.

"But if you’re that dead set on becoming strong, I’ll teach you how."

"Really? What do I have to—"

"Don't lose."

"...Huh?"

"As long as you refuse to acknowledge defeat, you can still win. Any time, any place, any situation."

"That... doesn't that sound a bit wrong?"

"It’s not wrong at all. You just have to be the one winning at the very end. The process might be important, but results are everything, right?"

Her words brought my masters' teachings rushing back to me.

She’s right. This exam is just part of the process.

My partnership with Cynthia-san hadn't been dissolved, I hadn't graduated from Noblesse yet, and I certainly hadn't finished trying to change the world. Getting depressed now was a total waste of time.

"...You're right. I’ll give it my all."

"Fufufu. Well, if you’re that eager, maybe I should give you a little lesson."

"Is that okay?! Ah, but—"

Ever since people found out about my Copy ability, most of them had started refusing to spar with me.

"I’m sure you won't be able to steal my techniques anyway. —Oh, why don't you two over there join in as well?"

I followed Eva-senpai's gaze and looked back to see two shadows hovering nearby. Duke and Shari emerged, bowing their heads repeatedly in apology.

"Wait, since when were you there!?"

"Sorry, man," Duke muttered. "We were watching from halfway through, but we couldn't find a good moment to jump in."

"Sorry, Allen," Shari added.

They were so kind. They’d clearly realized I was feeling down and came to check on me.

Duke had been even more depressed than I was about losing the exam, but he was already fired up to win the next one. Shari had technically secured a Victory, but she’d been the first to claim it wasn't through her own power.

We were all still in the middle of our journeys. There was no point in wallowing or standing still.

"Alright... Eva-senpai, I’m in your ca—aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhh!?"

The next heartbeat, my world flipped upside down as she shoved me straight off the rooftop.

Haha, of course. Our battle starts now.

I used Flight Magic to right myself in mid-air and conjured my Light Sword.

"—Let's do this!"

Using my defeat as nourishment, I was going to get even stronger.