Duke’s Resolve and Lilith’s Feelings

「…Do you even realize what you’re saying?」

「I do. However, I won’t take it back.」

「…Why? Why has it come to this?」

「I can’t tell you the reason. Only that I’ve committed an act utterly unbecoming of a knight.」

He was clearly devastated by my words.

He let out a heavy sigh and fixed me with a quiet, piercing stare.

「You used to say you wanted to protect the weak. Was that a lie?」

「No. That feeling hasn’t changed, even now. It’s just… the one I need to protect has finally become clear to me.」

「…Sending you to Noblesse was a mistake.」

「No, I’m glad I went. ——I’m sorry for disappointing you. Please, excuse me.」

I turned around to leave the room, but his voice stopped me at the door.

「In all the long history of the Billian Family… you were truly something special. It is a damn shame. But if your mind is made up, then don’t you dare look back. Keep moving forward.」

「Thank you… Father.」

◇

「Wh-Whaaaaaaaaaat?! You quit being a Knight Candidate?! Why on earth would you do that?!」

Lilith shrieked, her face twisting into a shocked expression I’d never seen before. It was just a casual mention, but she took it like I’d just confessed to a murder.

「A knight has to serve the country and discard personal desires. I broke that rule. Simple as that.」

「B-But, quitting…」

Once the Large-scale Invasion of the Demon Race ended, I walked away from the path of the knight. Knights are supposed to be symbols of absolute loyalty to the crown. I knew I couldn’t do that anymore. When I put my friends on one side of the scale and the country on the other, I already knew which way it would tip.

And that makes me a failure as a knight.

I don’t usually talk about this stuff with others. I hate sympathy, I hate pity, and I honestly don't even like being praised. But Lilith is a strange one; she has this weird way of slipping past my defenses. She has this warmth that just melts you.

So, I ended up telling her.

「Don’t tell Allen or Shari. They’d just get all worked up about it. And definitely don’t tell Weiss.」

「Y-Yes. ——Duke-san, you’re always so kind. You’re always worrying about everyone else.」

「That’s not true. I’m just prioritizing my own feelings.」

She’s got me all wrong. Enrolling in Noblesse, quitting the candidacy—I did it all for myself. I have a personality that’s more self-centered than anyone.

「No, Duke-san is a wonderful person.」

「Hah. Thanks.」

「See? That face you make when you're trying to hide how embarrassed you are… you’re just like Weiss-sama.」

「Am I?」

I could never be like him. And I could never be like Allen, either.

So who the hell am I?

That’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately.

Training with Lilith was a wake-up call. I’d thought she was just a natural genius, but behind the scenes, she works harder than anyone I know. I don’t mind breaking a sweat myself, but ever since that day, my heart just hasn't been in the game.

I’m a total piece of trash.

◇

Ever since I partnered up with Duke-san, I’ve realized just how delicate and warm-hearted he really is. The path of a knight is a wonderful thing—the ultimate goal for almost everyone in this world. And yet, he walked away.

He treasures his friends. He cares about us. That alone made me so incredibly happy.

And he’s such a hard worker, too. He claims he just "eats and sleeps well," but I know better—he’s pushing his body to the limit all day, every day.

「HRAAAH!」

「——Kh.」

His fighting style is similar to mine, but his raw power is on another level. In a proper, head-on fight, he’s probably the strongest person in all of Noblesse.

But sometimes, I could see the pain in his eyes. Just like Weiss-sama, it felt like he was hiding something. Something heavy.

「Duke-san, do you have a minute?」

「Hm? What’s up?」

This was just a regular class, not the Partner Exam. But I saw it. I couldn't un-see it.

「You’re holding back, aren’t you? Against everyone.」

「Holding back? What are you talking about?」

「…It started on that day. The day the Demon Race attacked us. You’ve been different ever since.」

The day Beltony came for us. The day we all prepared to die. Although we won in the end, I noticed Duke-san’s attitude was gradually changing. Especially toward Cecil-san.

He hardly meets her eyes, and while he isn't slacking off in our tests, his heart just isn't there.

Duke-san tried to brush it off, but I couldn't let it go.

After class ended, I asked him to meet me on the roof of the City Area B Training Center where no one would disturb us. I tried to pry, but he wouldn't budge.

「I'm telling you, it's nothing. You're overthinking it, Lilith.」

「We’re partners, aren’t we?」

「Well, yeah, but what does that have to—」

「Aren't we supposed to trust each other?! I noticed because I care about you! I'm asking because it's you, Duke-san! Is it right to just shut me out like this?!」

My voice was trembling with intensity. Finally, something seemed to click. Duke-san slumped over, sliding down to sit on the ground right there. He stared at his feet with an expression I'd never seen.

I waited. I waited for what felt like an eternity for him to find the words.

And finally, he spoke.

「That day… I abandoned Cecil. It’s been stuck in my heart ever since. I still see it in my dreams.」

——So that’s what it was. The realization hit me like a physical blow. I gasped.

When Cecil-san realized she couldn’t move, she’d begged Duke-san to take the others and run. He’d followed her orders. He’d grabbed Allen-san and Cynthia-san and tried to get them to safety.

Objectively, he hadn't done anything wrong.

But it had been eating him alive this whole time.

「Duke-san, it wasn't your fault.」

「Lilith, you were incredible. You stood your ground and took that monster down.」

「I was just frantic! I was desperate and lucky! But you… you had to make a cold, rational decision in the middle of a nightmare. My success was just a fluke; there's nothing 'amazing' about what I did.」

「You’re wrong. I left a comrade behind. I chose to let someone die. No one else did that. I was the one who made that decision.」

I’m such an idiot.

I hadn’t seen it. I was by his side every day, and I never realized how much he was hurting. He was drowning under the weight of it all, trying to carry the pressure alone.

「Cecil-san doesn't blame you. She’s grateful. She knew the situation better than anyone.」

「No, I’m… I’m weak. You know it, don’t you? I’m not even second-best. I’m not even third. No matter how hard I work, I’ll never catch up to Weiss or Allen. What I did was wrong because I wasn't strong enough.」

Looking at his face made my heart ache. I couldn't help myself—I reached out and gently pulled him into a hug.

Words weren't enough. I couldn't say everything I felt.

I was just so grateful. Duke-san, just like Weiss-sama, is a truly kind-hearted person. He claims to be self-centered, but it's a total lie.

「Lilith, what are you—」

「I don't care what anyone says. I will never blame you, Duke-san.」

「…But still.」

「No ‘buts’! I see the truth. And everyone else does, too!」

Suddenly, Duke-san let out a bark of laughter.

「Ahahaha! Kuku.」

「W-Why are you laughing?!」

「No… I’m just… happy. Thanks, Lilith.」

He offered me a quiet, sincere thanks. I don’t know if I truly reached him, but I think the message was delivered.

Still, words are just words.

Forgive me, Weiss-sama.

But for this exam, I want Duke-san to win.

I want him to take first place.

My feelings for Weiss-sama haven't changed—they never will. But right now… I just want to see this man smile again.

Looking at his face, I could see a spark returning.

「Duke-san. Let’s win this next exam. No matter what. Let’s win and prove to the world that you weren’t wrong.」

「……Thanks. ——I’m going to give it everything I’ve got. By the way… that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you drop the polite speech.」

「Huh? Did I?」

「Yeah. But… it really fired me up.」

The exam parameters were in our favor. We can do this. With this, we can surpass them.

Duke-san looked at me, and his eyes were different. The shadows were gone.

「Lilith. By winning this exam, I want to finally be able to forgive myself. ……Will you help me do that?」

I knew he was speaking from the bottom of his heart.

I smiled back at him.

「Yes. Let’s definitely win.」

——I am absolutely not going to lose.