151: Detective Cecil

"...I lost."

"Fufu. You’ve certainly grown stronger, Fansent-kun."

"Hah! Look who’s talking. Anyway—and, bow."

The moment the match ended, cheers erupted from the spectators.

"Whoaaa, for real?! Even Weiss can lose... As expected of Cecil!"

"Amazing. This might be the first time I've ever seen Weiss get beaten like that."

"Weiss, you’re weak."

"Shut up. If you're part of the trio that couldn't even touch me, keep your mouths shut."

We were gathered around a massive play area—well, really just a long table. There, we were holding a Battle Universe tournament. Cecil was her usual self, boasting a level of skill that was practically peerless. I had managed to scrap my way through Allen and Lilith to reach the semi-finals, but that was where my run ended.

Then came the final match.

"Cecil-dono, I shall not be defeated!"

"Oh my. Please, go easy on me."

...Wait, what?

"Tura... why are you so good at this?"

"What do you mean?"

"No, nothing in particular, but..."

"I will win! Weiss-dono, watch me! And if I win, you must give me a reward!"

"I can feel a distinct chill in the air, so please, don't say another word."

Tura was a lady. Unlike Allen or Duke, she didn't spit out insults, but I’d always pegged her as being on our side—the "muscle-brain" side.

And yet, her strategy was unexpectedly sharp. No, it made sense. To suppress magic with a sword, you actually need a functioning brain. You can't do that on instinct alone. Was she actually the logical type?

"Weiss-kun, you didn't know?"

"Know what, Carta?"

"Tura-san's academic scores are actually about the same as Cecil-san's."

Are you kidding me?

That was a shocker. In the Original Story, the specific details of classroom grades were never shown. I knew she’d been improving rapidly, but I’d only ever looked at the total point tallies. This was a hidden talent. Still, making new discoveries like this was part of the fun.

I watched the match closely. Tura put up a hell of a fight, but—

"I... I lost!"

"Thank you very much. Tura-san, you were wonderful. I don't mean to sound condescending, but would you mind playing with me again sometime?"

"Of course! Ha-ha! That was truly enjoyable!"

I felt a tiny pang in my chest, like my Cecil was being stolen away.

"Weiss, what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing at all, Cynthia."

We spent the rest of the evening snacking and chatting—just doing the kinds of things normal students do. I wasn't exactly making a conscious effort to "savor my youth," but Teacher Milk’s warning about not having regrets later stuck in my mind.

Well, I suppose this counts as training in its own way.

"Weiss-sama looks like he’s having such a good time."

"Yes. It’s been so hectic lately; I’m just relieved to see him smiling."

Was it my imagination, or were Lilith and Cynthia watching me? Must have been a fluke.

Before bed, I headed back to my room to grab my bath kit. Hair cream, hair oil, face towel, all-in-one gel, and my Bohemian Sauna Hat (just in case).

Perfect. The Way of the Bath begins with preparation, after all.

I’d heard this mansion was particularly obsessive about its hot springs. I was just beginning to get excited when a deep, gravelly voice—one belonging to someone whose brain had likely been replaced by pure muscle—echoed through the hall.

I rushed to the entrance to find Duke collapsed on the floor.

"Duke! Duke!"

Allen was frantically calling out to him, but Duke didn't budge.

Don't tell me... the Demon Race?

The others gathered one by one. Cynthia hurried forward to check his pulse. And then...

"He is... sleeping."

"...Huh?"

"It’s Sleeping Grass. At this rate, he might not wake up until tomorrow morning."

"Y-You’ve got to be kidding me... You mean this guy is going to wake up tomorrow still sticky from the salt water and drenched in his own sweat without taking a bath?"

"I'm afraid so. Unless someone provides... bedside care for his bath."

Every single pair of eyes in the room swiveled toward Allen. Allen, being Allen, immediately looked the other way.

Yeah, I get it. That sounds like a nightmare.

No, wait. What was with this vibe? This atmosphere? What was going on? Sleeping Grass was a "sound sleeper" item used for exhaustion. It was a support item meant to restore spirit. But it wasn't something you'd ever want to take during a fun vacation. If you took it, you’d sleep through the best parts—the late-night snacks and the pillow fights. It was unthinkable, yet here we were.

"Nobody move."

Cecil spoke. Her voice was different than usual. She pushed up her glasses with a sharp clack and peered at Duke’s mouth.

"...This is a crime."

"What are you talking about?"

"Duke-kun is a muscle-head to his very core. And people of the muscle-bound variety have a natural aptitude for deep sleep. There is no way he would ingest Sleeping Grass by mistake. Therefore, there is a high probability that this was a calculated move by someone who wanted to shut Duke-kun up."

"Seriously, what are you even saying?"

Cecil ignored my retort entirely.

Carta was the next to cry out. "I-It wasn't me! Sure, I think Duke-kun can be a bit over-energetic and loud sometimes, but I like that about him!"

"...Hey, Allen, do you know anything?"

At Shari’s question, Allen wore a faint, fearless smirk.

"...It wasn't me. I'll admit there are nights where I wish for a little peace and quiet, but I’d never go that far."

What the hell is happening?

Then, it clicked. Right. I remembered now. There was a side story exactly like this. But even so, everyone was playing their parts way too well.

This was the coercive force of the Noblesse world. This was one of those events that wouldn't end until the culprit was identified. Usually, Allen played the detective, but Cecil must have been too much of a mystery fan to pass this up.

This is another one of my plot alterations. I guess I have to play along until the end...

"I-It wasn't me! I don't know anything! I'm... I'm going to go take a bath by myself!"

Tura suddenly shrieked and bolted.

"Hey, Tura! Wait, don't go!"

I shouted after her, trying to stop the blatant cliché, but she didn't listen. A few seconds after she disappeared from sight, we heard another scream. We rushed over to find Tura fast asleep, sucking her thumb.

Cecil looked down at her.

"Mumu... I want a teddy bear..."

"...This is grave. We need to find a stuffed bear and carry her to bed. Lilith-san, could you help me?"

"Of course."

"Hey, wait a minute."

I have no choice. I have to see this through.

After we hauled Tura and Duke to their beds, Cecil started pacing around the room for no apparent reason. It was that classic detective trope—pacing back and forth while "deducing."

"Sleeping Grass takes time to manifest its effects. Based on the timeline... the curry is the most likely delivery method. And the culprit is someone in this room!"

DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

"What was that sound effect?!"

Carta: !? Cynthia: !? Lilith: !? Olynn: !? Shari: !? Allen: !?

Did everyone’s faces just zoom in for a split second? Must be my imagination.

Whatever. I just wanted to clear this and get to the bath.

"Duke-kun’s special curry was meat-based, but the one who prepared the vegetable-heavy batch was... Allen-kun, right?"

"I-It wasn't me! I can tell the difference between a vegetable and a medicinal herb!"

"But it’s true that Allen always complained about how noisy Duke is," Shari added. "He said he wanted to sleep in peace for once."

"Shari! Why would you say that?!"

"Then Allen’s our guy. Just confess already so you can go give Duke his sponge bath."

"I told you, it wasn't me!"

Cecil shook her head at my suggestion.

Stop with the dramatic pacing. Just get on with it.

"Allen-san is close with Duke-kun and knows his way around a mountain. He wouldn't make a mistake with herbs. Therefore, he is excluded. Carta-san, you stepped out while we were eating curry, didn't you?"

"Ehh?! M-Me?!"

"Where did you go?"

"I... I was worried about the storm! I went to check the windows!"

"And do you have evidence to support this?"

"Ah, actually, I saw Carta-san looking out the window while I was on my way to the restroom," Olynn chimed in.

"S-See?!"

"I see. Then Carta-san and Olynn-san are also excluded. The Sleeping Grass had to be added before the curry was finished for it to dissolve properly."

That left Cynthia, Lilith, Shari, and me.

I have a really bad feeling about this.

"I was with Tura-san the entire time," Cynthia stated.

"As was I," Lilith added.

"Cynthia and Lilith... I see. That leaves Fansent-kun and Shari-san."

Everyone’s gaze landed on us. Shari immediately raised her hand.

"I have no motive to target Duke or Tura-san. Duke is loud, but his room is far from mine. And Tura-san shares a room with Carta."

"True. By process of elimination, that leaves Fansent-kun..."

"Hold on a second! I didn't do it! Yeah, the muscle-brain is loud and I value my sleep, but I’m not the culprit. I was surprised Tura was so good at Battle Universe, but I’m not jealous! Okay, maybe I was a little annoyed, but that’s it!"

"Weiss, it’s okay to have moments like that," Cynthia said softly.

"Weiss-sama, this isn't cowardice. It’s just stress," Lilith added.

"Hey! Cynthia, Lilith! What is wrong with you two? You’re supposed to be on my side!"

Dammit, if I don't end this event now, my reputation is going to be in the gutter.

I remembered there was a "Game Over" condition for this side story. This was getting dangerous.

"...Wait. Isn't Cecil acting suspicious too? You’re pointing the finger at everyone else while staying in the 'safe zone' yourself."

"W-What are you saying?! That’s impossible!"

"Oh yeah? Why is it impossible?"

"B-Because... because I wanted to play Battle Universe with everyone until morning! I’d never put someone to sleep on purpose—and I’d never make a mistake like that!"

Cecil’s face turned beet red as she spoke, looking like she wanted to hide. Everyone burst out laughing. It was a pretty convincing argument.

But if it wasn't her... then I remembered.

"Debi."

"Debibibi!?"

"Go wake those two up."

"Debi!"

I dispatched Debi immediately. I’d completely forgotten the little guy was an expert at sleep-dispelling magic. A few moments later, a groggy Duke and Tura stumbled back into the room, rubbing their eyes.

"Huaaaa... Is it morning already?"

"Hey, Duke. Did you eat any weird grass?"

"Grass?"

"Yeah. Some strange-looking weed."

"Hmm... Oh, now that you mention it, some stuff got in my mouth while I was swimming in the ocean."

"N-Now that you mention it, me too!"

Silence fell over the room. Everyone turned to look at Cecil.

"Well then! I suppose it’s time for a bath. The timing is quite perfect, actually!"

"Indeed. All's well that ends well."

"Cynthia-san, let's go!"

Unable to handle the collective stare, Cecil beat a hasty retreat. At that moment, I swear I heard a triumphant Fan-fa-fa-fa-fannnn! melody echoing in the air.

What was that? Did I just clear the event?

I didn't actually hear it with my ears, but I felt it in my soul.

"Yo! Let's hit the tubs! Weiss, Allen! ...And Olynn too, right?"

"Wait! Why did you hesitate before saying my name?!"

"It's not that, it's just... make sure you keep your clothes on, okay?"

"W-Why?!"

Please, I’m begging you. No more incidents tonight.

---

"...Fuga! Ah, the mansion! It’s the mansion, Meryl!"

"I’m dying... My throat is like a desert... I need water..."

"Meryl, wake up! We made it!"

"I want something sweet... I want a bath..."

"You might get to take a bath with Cynthia-san!"

"Eh?! Why didn't you say so?! Hurry!"