Chapter 13: The First (Unauthorized) "Let's Gush Over Lord Weiss Fancent" Meeting

"Pardon my presumption, but I, Zebis, shall take the lead in summarizing our thoughts."

While I was busy soaking in the bath—a luxury I’ve grown quite fond of—a secret gathering of four was taking place in a room elsewhere in the mansion.

Seated around the circular table were Zebis, Teacher Milk, Lilith, and Lady Cynthia.

"So, Zebis," Milk began, her voice dropping to a low growl. "What’s the meaning of this?"

"The 'meaning'... of what, precisely? I’ll have to ask you to be more specific."

Milk let out an exasperated sigh and crossed her arms, her expression turning blunt and icy.

"Why was that boy left to rot in obscurity until now? If I hadn't stepped in to personally oversee his training, there’s a chance no one would have ever noticed his potential. To put it bluntly, failing to recognize him is a crime against the world itself. Tell me, were your eyes purely decorative? Or were you just walking around with empty sockets?"

Zebis and Milk were old acquaintances. Both had served as Knight Captains in rival nations, and at one point, their relationship was defined by a bloody, life-and-death feud. If one were to recount the full history between them, a single day wouldn't be nearly enough time.

Zebis’s eyebrow twitched at Milk’s insolent tone, but he forced himself to take a silent, steadying breath.

"...I find the suggestion that my eyes are 'decorative' somewhat distasteful. The truth is, he changed. Though I will admit, the talent he has recently blossomed with is nothing short of awe-inspiring."

"I agree! I think it’s exactly as Zebis says," Lilith chimed in, snapping her hand into the air with her back perfectly straight. "I’ve been by his side for years, and Lord Weiss has truly transformed. Though, to be fair, his face has always been exquisitely handsome."

Lady Cynthia followed suit, twirling a lock of her hair around a finger.

"Lilith has a point. His appearance has been breathtaking since the moment we met, even if his personality… well, it left much to be desired back then. Now, however, both his looks and his character are equally wonderful."

Zebis took a makeshift wooden board and began scrawling bullet points with a black brush infused with mana.

【Why is Lord Weiss Fancent so wonderful? (Or: How did he become so wonderful?)】

1. He changed through sheer, hard work. 2. He was blessed with a magnificent face and elegant features from the start. 3. His talent is so immense it’s actually a little terrifying. 4. I, Zebis, am not blind.

"I believe this summarizes our current findings," Zebis said.

"I’m still not buying it," Milk countered. "People don’t just 'change' like that. Setting aside the fact that he was clearly born with talent, isn't it more likely he was intentionally playing the villain this whole time?"

"Oh? And what reason would he have for doing such a thing?"

"How should I know? You’re his butler. What were you even looking at while you were standing by his side? Was it the floor? Decorative eyeballs, Zebis. Decorative. Eyeballs."

In an instant, the internal mechanism of the pen in Zebis’s hand began to creak and groan. His brow arched sharply, and the muscles beneath his prim butler’s uniform seemed to swell with repressed fury.

"You are overstepping, Milk. This is the Fanscent estate. I suggest you mind your tongue. This meeting was convened so that we might better understand Lord Weiss."

"It’s your 'goody-two-shoes' attitude that’s bothering me, Zebis Odin. You’ve gone soft. You used to be filled with such a delicious sense of madness, and now look at you."

"Now, now, you’re really going too far," Lilith said, trying to intervene. Cynthia, meanwhile, was ignoring the escalating tension entirely, checking her reflection in a full-length mirror to ensure she’d look perfect for our meeting later.

"I am telling you... drop that tone—"

"Weakling Zebis. Loser Zebis. Decorative-Eyeball Zebis."

"Milk-san! Please, let's keep this productive! There’s no way Zebis-san would fall for such childish provoca—"

"...Listen here, Milk... you’re getting awfully cocky. Do you want me to grind you into the dirt?!"

The pen finally snapped in two. A literal crack seemed to form across Zebis’s usually serene, Buddha-like face. His sudden eruption of mana and bloodlust was so staggering that, at that exact moment, I jumped in the shower and accidentally got shampoo in my eyes.

"Z-Zebis-san?! What’s gotten into you?!" Lilith cried out, desperately trying to hold him back.

Lady Cynthia, however, just continued to twirl her hair elegantly. I wonder if he prefers soft, long curls? What do you think, Lilith?

"Ha! That’s the spirit, Zebis. That look suits you much better. Maybe you should have Weiss train your pathetic, rusted body? It might actually be a fair fight these days."

"I’ll tear you limb from limb before I let that happen, you muscle-brained hag who thinks 'guts' solves everything."

"You want to go right here, you twitchy little bastard?"

"Stop it, both of you! Lady Cynthia, please help me stop them!"

I wonder if I should go with a straight look instead? They say global trends are changing so fast lately...

Ignoring the frantic Lilith, the other three continued their chaos. Finally, Lilith reached her breaking point. She performed a sharp curtsy, lifting her skirt just enough to draw several concealed throwing knives. She leveled the blades at the two combatants, her eyes flashing with a sharp, murderous glint.

"That. Is. Enough."

"Ho? So the Silence Witch finally makes her appearance?"

"I'm going to kill this woman myself. Stay out of this, Lilith."

"Oh, Lilith, those knives are lovely! I can see my face in the reflection... I look even cuter than usual, don't I?"

Lady Cynthia had been informed of Lilith’s secret identity as an assassin by Zebis and Milk, but she didn’t even bat an eye. True to her nature as a total pushover for love, her entire brain was currently occupied by thoughts of me.

Several tens of minutes later, I finally finished my bath and pushed open the door.

The notes on the wooden board had been completely wiped clean. In their place, a new list had been written:

【10 Things That Would Make Lord Weiss Fancent Happy】

"What’s all this? Also... Zebis? Teacher Milk? Why are your clothes all torn up?"

"It is merely your imagination, my lord," Zebis replied smoothly.

"Your imagination," Milk echoed.

"Lilith, isn't your skirt... shorter than usual? It looks like it was hacked off."

"It’s just your imagination, okay?"

"Cynthia, why are you still here? I thought you went home ages ago."

"Hehe... that cold, 'get out' attitude of yours is making my heart pound..."

Everyone’s acting a little weird today, I thought to myself. But hey, at least they’re all straightforward people. There’s no deception with them.

I, on the other hand, was a mess of secrets and lies. Compared to their honesty, I felt like a total fraud.