Minus Cooking

I led Luna toward the kitchen, the likely source of the smoke.

Why could I still smell that nose-stinging stench despite my wind barrier? It defied logic.

"...It stinks," Luna wheezed.

"For now, I’m using the wind to push the smoke outside. Just bear with it a little longer."

Fritz, Lark, and the others outside the inn would inevitably end up breathing this foul air, but I had to believe it would be diluted enough to be survivable by the time it reached them.

I thought I heard voices from outside—"Guh-hack!?" or "W-what is this poison gas!?"—but I decided to ignore them for the moment. There was nothing I could do about their plight just yet.

"This is the kitchen..."

"The smoke... it’s even thicker here."

I reflexively covered my nose. The odor was so intense, so violent, that there was no longer any doubt: this was ground zero.

"Alright, we’re going in. Luna, the moment we cross the threshold, I want you to open every single window you can find."

Buildings in this world were designed with relatively few windows. Part of it was the sheer cost of glass, but it was also a matter of insulation and, most importantly, security. Unlike the modern world, we didn't have reinforced safety glass—only fragile, single-pane sheets. Large windows were essentially an invitation for Thieves to break in.

Still, this was a room designed for Fire, so I knew there had to be at least some ventilation.

I threw the door open and scanned the room. The first thing I saw was Elu, collapsed on the floor. I rushed to her side, scooping her up and enveloping her in a protective shroud of Wind Magic.

"Ah... Yuri-sama..."

"Don't force yourself to speak," I commanded.

"N-no... This is just... Cooking... after all..."

"...Cooking?"

This mysterious miasma, which looked like a targeted assassination attempt via chemical warfare, was supposed to be food?

"Y-yes... It was just... a bit too stimulating for me..."

"I understand. Let's put a stop to this 'cooking' first, then we’ll sort it out."

I tried to move deeper into the room, but Elu clung to me, halting my progress.

"N-no, you mustn't! Fee-chan is working so hard... for your sake, Yuri-sama..."

"Fee is?"

I didn't understand the logic, but it seemed Fee was the source of the fumes. Come to think of it, Fee’s Cooking Skill had a minus notation. I had assumed she was just a bad cook, but this was something else entirely. She didn't just lack talent; she possessed a lethal proficiency for creating "murderous cuisine."

"At this rate, Fee’s own life is in danger. I’m going to check on her."

"...Understood," Elu said, finally relenting.

I pushed forward toward a shadow moving in the gloom. There I found Fee, sweat pouring from her forehead as she desperately stirred a cauldron, and Emilina, who was using Light magic to "purify" the air while cheering her on.

I marched up to Emilina and delivered a sharp poke to the side of her head.

"Ow! W-who was that!?"

"Why is this happening when you're right here to supervise?" I asked, a headache beginning to form behind my eyes.

"Because this is Cooking."

"Think about the people you're affecting for a second."

"It’s fine! I’ll use Purification Magic at the very end to eliminate the toxins," she insisted.

"...Wait. Are you admitting you put poison in there?"

"It’s just a figure of speech!"

Is this Saint actually trying to kill me? The suspicion felt more like a certainty with every passing second.

"Fee, stop. Whatever that is, it isn't human food anymore."

"B-but... I have to make it even more delicious for you, Yuri-sama... I'm not done yet—"

"I’m the one who's going to eat it, and I’m telling you to stop."

She had been so focused on the pot that she hadn't even realized who was talking to her. The moment she recognized me, she descended into a panicked flurry of motion. Unfortunately, there was a piping-hot cauldron right in front of her.

"Watch out!"

As Fee spun around, the massive pot began to tip. I lunged forward, intending to shield her from the scalding mess, but Fee was faster. Before I could even blink, she had scooped me up and leaped clear of the splash zone.

Purple Substance X splattered across the floor.

"That was dangerous," Fee sighed, sounding relieved.

Then she looked down at the spilled Substance X and her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I worked so hard on it..."

"I know you did. But attempting something like this without any experience was far too reckless."

"Uuuu..."

"Tell you what. I'll help you finish, so let's make the next batch together."

"Eh? Really?"

"Of course. I have no reason to say no."

Truthfully, I just wanted to be there to ensure that whatever she made next was actually safe to ingest. But when Fee looked up at me, she was beaming.

"Un! We'll make it together!"

"But first, we clean. We need to clear this smoke and deal with... whatever that mysterious substance on the floor is."

And so, our domestic cleanup began.

First, I used Wind Magic to blast the purple smoke out of the inn in one go. (I ignored the renewed sounds of groaning from outside.)

Next, I scrubbed the walls with practiced efficiency. As for the spilled Substance X, I gathered every last drop of it and tossed it into Ram’s mouth.

Once the cleaning was finished, we finally set to work on the actual cooking.