Sheep Fairy

"G-geez, I can't let my guard down for a second, mee."

The Pseudo-sheep, having finally been excavated from the earth, shook its body with desperate fervor to brush off the dirt.

"So, was that story about bringing us livestock actually true?" I asked, though I already doubted it.

"I-it's true, mee. Please, believe me, mee."

Al looked at the creature, his expression unreadable. "If it’s a lie, can I roast you? Can we have a meat party?"

"I... I don't want to be roasted, mee..."

"I'll consider it," Al said, his hand tightening on his shovel, "if you actually bring the livestock."

"U-understood, mee. P-please wait a bit, mee."

The Pseudo-sheep rolled away in a frantic, undignified scramble.

"Is it going to bring back other sheep?" I wondered aloud.

Given its appearance, that seemed the most logical conclusion. However, logic was a rare commodity in this territory.

"Why a cow, a pig, and a bird?" I asked.

"I brought livestock, mee," the Pseudo-sheep declared, puffing out its woolly chest with unearned confidence.

Watching its smug attitude, a certain familiar tension filled the air.

"Hot! H-hot! W-why are you burning me, mee?!"

"A thank-you gift for bringing the livestock?" Al suggested.

"This is just plain bullying, mee!"

"I was told I have to eat everything properly to the very end without wasting it," Al said.

"Forget the end! I don't want you to even start the beginning, mee!"

"If I don't, Big Brother will get mad at me for wasting meat."

The creature looked at me, then back at Al. "...Isn't planting it in the field a waste, mee?"

"That’s an experiment," Al replied. "Big Brother said it’s better to conduct experiments."

"Doing something you already know will fail isn't an experiment, mee!!"

The creature rolled on the ground, desperately trying to extinguish the fire clinging to its wool. Once the flames were out, it spoke through ragged breaths.

"I-if you burn me, I'm taking the livestock and going home, mee."

Technically, it wouldn't be able to take anything anywhere if it were incinerated, but Al seemed to accept the logic for now.

"Fine. In that case, I have no more use for mutton... I mean, I have no use for you right now, so you can go."

"Why did you call me mutton?! You're still planning to eat me, mee!"

"If I were going to eat you, I wouldn't let you leave, right?"

"The moment I turn my back, you're going to 'snip' me, mee!"

Al’s smile widened. "I hadn't thought of that. I'll actually give it a try!"

"You aren't allowed to try that, mee!"

As Al brandished his shovel with a cheerful grin, the Pseudo-sheep launched into a desperate plea for its life.

"By the way, those livestock from earlier are escaping. Is that okay, mee?"

"Ah! N-no! Get them!!"

In a chaotic blur, Al and the Pseudo-sheep went sprinting after the animals. Once they were caught, Al tossed them into a hole he had previously dug.

"W-we managed, somehow," Al panted.

"What a relief, mee... By the way, why are you pushing me, too, mee?"

"Eh? I thought I’d drop all the livestock in together."

"For the last time, I am not livestock, mee!!"

"...What a shame."

The disappointment on Al's face was genuinely chilling.

"So, what kind of feed should I give these animals?"

"Generally, they just eat the grass growing around here, mee."

"Hmm..."

Al paused, then reached into his bag and tossed in some vegetables that were essentially one hundred percent tasteless white powder.

"What is that, mee?"

"Vegetables."

"They seem to possess an abnormal amount of magic power for mere vegetables, mee."

"It's just your imagination."

The moment the vegetables hit the bottom of the pit, the livestock descended upon them in a ravenous frenzy. The food vanished in seconds.

"So this feed really works. Raising them should be easy, then."

The Pseudo-sheep stared at Al’s hand. "...Why are you holding out a vegetable for me, too, mee?"

"This is what you eat, right?"

"I want meat, mee!"

---

"I got the meat this way. Pretty impressive, right?"

Al spoke with total self-assurance. The idea of a strange lump of talking meat delivering other livestock was hard to swallow, but the evidence was right in front of us.

"I knew we needed to gather livestock eventually. This helps us out."

"Ehehe, I worked hard."

"Could you introduce me to that 'strange meat' later?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course! Ah, but it was too big to fit in the house, so I buried it out front."

He said it with a smile. I had to assume it was some kind of metaphor. No one would actually bury a living creature in the front yard.

"If it’s outside, let’s go meet it now."

"Ah, my cooler..." Marina interjected.

"That will take a little longer. Just wait a bit."

"I understand. I shall wait for eternity if I must."

Leaving Marina bowing deeply behind us, we stepped outside. The moment I opened the door, something soft and massive slammed into me, bouncing me back.

"W-what is this?!"

"Ahaha, it’s so fluffy!"

Emma’s voice drifted out from somewhere within the mass. Looking closer, the object was a gargantuan, white, undulating ball of wool. Emma was clinging to it, her face lost in a trance of pure ecstasy.

"This is it, Big Brother."

"Meat...? Or rather, it looks like a Kesaran Pasaran."

"Kesa...?" Emma blinked, confused. "But it’s already almost evening?"

"I didn't mean it like that."

I poked the massive body a few times. Suddenly, a voice vibrated from the top of the fluff.

"That tickles, mee!"

"Wawa! It talked?!"

Emma recoiled in surprise for a fraction of a second before diving back into the wool.

"So, it’s a sheep?" I asked.

"That’s right," Al said. "It’s sheep meat."

"Wrong, mee!! I am not a sheep, mee!!"

"I-it really talked..."

I hadn't actually expected the mutton to talk back.

"Now do you understand? Since I can speak, I am clearly not a sheep, mee."

It kept saying 'mee,' so I was fairly certain it was a sheep, but an ordinary animal wouldn't be this articulate. It had to be something supernatural.

"What exactly are you?"

"I am a Shepherd Fairy, mee."

I recalled the Shepherd God appearing in various myths. Perhaps this was a related entity?

"So you are a sheep after all?!"

"N-no, mee! I'm a fairy, mee!"

"Meat training?" Al asked, tilting his head.

"Wrong, mee! Your nuances are all wrong, mee!"

"You’re being noisy with all that bleating," I sighed. "Can I just roast you?"

I was starting to feel like the crazy one for holding a conversation with this thing.

"Go ahead," Al said.

"No, mee!"

"Stop! This one belongs to me!" Emma shouted, refusing to let go of the Pseudo-sheep.

"Yes, yes, listen to her... wait, that’s also wrong, mee!"

The Sheep Fairy (Mutton) was throwing quite a fit. Still, the creature was massive; if we roasted it now, we’d never finish the meat. It made more sense to keep it around.

"Does this sheep-meat have a name?"

"I told you, I'm not meat, mee!"

"Yes! His name is Mr. Meat!" Emma declared.

"That’s not even close to a name, mee!"

"Meat, huh? Yeah, that’s a good name," I agreed.

"In what world, mee?!"

"No! This child has a real, proper name!" Emma insisted.

"That’s right! Tell him, mee!" The sheep cheered her on.

Emma took a deep breath. "This child's name is Ramulator Francis de Almator Genghis Khan III!"

"That’s ri—wait, that’s way too long and completely wrong, mee!"

"It’s a great name, right? Ramurareme."

"You got it wrong immediately, mee!"

"I can't remember something that long," I said flatly. "Let's just go with Ram. It’s simpler."

"I suppose that’s acceptable, mee. It’ll do, mee."

It felt like it took a lifetime just to settle on a name.

"So, Ram, do you intend to stay in this territory?"

"I get burned and dropped into holes occasionally, but this is a good place where meat is planted in the earth, mee. I wouldn't mind living here, mee."

I paused. Meat... planted?

"Al?"

"A-ahaha. But thanks to this guy, our livestock increased, so it’s fine, right?"

"Well, I suppose it can't be helped."

And so, a new companion (emergency food) joined our territory.