The First Melon War

The next day, I was taking my usual "vacation"—which really just meant tinkering with magic tools—when it seemed a visitor had arrived to see me.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“It’s the person Emilina-san introduced yesterday. I believe... her name was Acre-san,” Fee replied.

Remembering names clearly wasn't Fee's strong suit, but I suppose that was just part of her charm. I didn't point it out, choosing instead to focus on how to handle this newcomer.

Even if she technically belongs to the Protagonist Faction—making her an enemy in my book—she’s also the person who can provide exactly what this territory is decisively lacking. I couldn't afford to be cold. However, if I showed too much favor and allowed the protagonists to latch onto me, that would be equally problematic. In the end, it was probably best to keep her at arm's length, just like my current relationship with Emilina.

“I see. I’ll head over once I’ve finished my preparations. Show her to the reception room.”

“I figured you’d say that, so I already sent her ahead. Elu-san is speaking with her now.”

Fee answered with total nonchalance, but I tilted my head, puzzled. “Elu is? Are they acquaintances?”

“It didn't look like it, but they seemed to be getting along quite well.”

Perhaps they had found some common ground. In any case, if they were enjoying themselves, it wouldn't be right to disturb them immediately. It was probably better to give them a little more time.

“Fine. Bring out some tea snacks, would you? I’ll be there after I finish up here.”

“Understood. But don't you dare start playing with that thing you’re hiding behind your back.”

Damn, she saw right through me. My plan to squeeze in some magic tool crafting during the gap had been exposed instantly.

“It’s fine. I’m just finishing a quick part,” I countered.

“If you keep saying things like that, you’ll never leave this room. I’m coming back for you soon, so please get ready.”

Having been firmly urged by Fee, I reluctantly began preparing to meet this "Acre-san."

The moment I stepped into the reception room, my eyes were immediately drawn to two mountain ranges that loomed even larger than Emilina’s.

However, in that same instant, Fee and Elu directed judgmental glares my way. I cleared my throat, trying to regain my composure.

“Would you like to touch them?”

As if mocking my internal struggle, Acre-san spoke up. It was a literal devil’s whisper. Acting as if she didn't mind in the slightest, Acre-san actually hoisted her chest up to emphasize the point. I felt like looking away would, conversely, be its own form of rudeness.

However, I was still the Lord of this land. I firmly suppressed my base desires.

If I were just a normal eleven-year-old, this might have been a humorous scene. But I wasn't. And more importantly, I wasn't alone. Elu—the princess of the Beast Kingdom and my prospective fiancée—was standing right there. If I openly flirted with another woman, it would be seen as a slight against her nation. At worst, the Beast King might take it as a declaration of war. That would put an end to my dreams of independence—and likely result in my immediate execution.

My hands clenched so tightly my knuckles turned white, but I forced a gentlemanly smile. “No. I couldn’t possibly be so disrespectful to a woman I’ve only just met.”

“Oh? Don’t you think it’s equally rude to refuse a lady’s invitation?” Acre-san replied with a playful tilt of her head.

She was clearly enjoying this. I could sense that her jovial attitude was merely a facade, which actually helped me remain calm. Elu, however, was past the point of reason.

“S-Stop throwing yourself at someone else’s fiancé!” Elu shouted.

“My, I wasn’t doing anything of the sort. Yuri-sama simply looked intrigued, so I thought I’d offer my... assistance with his research.”

“I don’t care! If you’re going to offer anyone, then offer mine—!”

Elu stopped, looking down at her own body. While she wasn't completely flat, her silhouette was relatively modest. Compared to Acre-san, the difference was so vast that a comparison wasn't even possible.

“Fee-san, you say something too!”

“Eh? Me?!” Fee squeaked, her voice jumping an octave. She looked at Acre, then back at herself, and her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I... I think we should just retreat.”

“Don’t run away! We have to fight together!”

“There’s no winning this one...”

“...That isn't true!”

The door swung open as Luna marched into the room, followed by Emilina.

To an observer, a situation with one man and five women might be envied as a harem, but for me, it was pure hell. I had two foreign princesses acting as fiancée candidates, two members of the Protagonist Faction, and my only ally—Fee—had already surrendered. I was sitting on a bed of nails.

“Yuri likes them small. That’s why he only keeps small girls around him.”

Luna pointed an accusatory finger at me. At her bold claim, Elu, Fee, and even Acre-san let out collective gasps of awe.

“...Therefore, the only ones who can be his fiancées are me and Elu,” Luna declared, puffing out her non-existent chest.

I’m pretty sure the only reason you’re candidates is because of political maneuvering, but sure.

However, Fee, having been suddenly excluded from the "small" category, looked devastated. “B-But Fee is...”

“Well, Fee-san is big,” Elu noted.

“Quite large,” Acre-san agreed. It felt less like a compliment and more like a targeted jab.

“Y-Yuri-sama, what do you think?!” Fee wailed, turning to me for salvation.

I looked at her with an exhausted expression. “I don't even know what we’re talking about anymore. Can we please get to the main topic?”

I turned my gaze back to Acre-san. She blinked, as if finally remembering her purpose for being here.

“I understand. You can touch as much as you like.”

“THAT’S NOT IT!”

In the end, it took a very long time before we actually got down to business.