The Case for the Parasitic-Style Mob

It all started with a single letter from Alpha. The contents were short and sweet.

“If you’re free, come to the Holy Land.”

That was it.

The academy was half-burnt, which meant summer vacation had been bumped up, so I was pretty much just killing time. Experience told me that whenever I accepted one of Alpha’s invitations, some fun event was usually waiting for me, so I set off for the Holy Land the day after the letter arrived.

Holy Land Lindwurm.

I’d actually been there once a long time ago. It’s one of the primary sites for the Holy Church, the most popular religion in this world. It’s the kind of faith that worships Goddess Beatrix—the one who supposedly granted power to the ancient heroes—as the one and only god.

The trip to the Holy Land takes four days by carriage from the academy. Since it’s within the kingdom, the commute is surprisingly manageable.

I’d been torn between making a serious dash for it or traveling by carriage like a proper mob, but I eventually decided not to slack off and went with the carriage. I was playing the "high-consciousness" type, telling myself that maintaining the right mindset in everyday life is what really matters.

I really want to punch my past self for that.

I should have just run. If I’d gone full-throttle during the night, I would’ve been there in no time.

Because I didn’t, I was currently stuck in a carriage with the Student Council President, Rose Oriana.

The interior was luxurious, spacious, and top-of-the-line, and the only people inside were me and Rose. I’d arrived at the post town in a cheap rental, and Rose just happened to be there and invited me to join her. I tried to refuse. I really did. But you can’t exactly say no to royal authority, so here I was, headed for the Holy Land in her private carriage.

According to Rose, there was an event called the Goddess’s Trial being held at the Holy Land, and she’d been invited as a guest of honor. I guess Alpha probably invited me to watch the Goddess's Trial too, I thought as I listened to Rose talk.

But halfway through, I started losing the thread of the conversation.

“It is simply unacceptable for a young man with a heart as brave as yours, Cid-kun, to lose his life in an incident like that,” Rose said with a soft smile.

Okay, first off, I’m a mob, so I’m not brave. Second, since when did she start calling me Cid-kun? I had plenty of notes, but I could still follow the logic so far.

“The day I learned you were alive, I felt the hand of destiny. The fact that we can speak like this now is because the world itself is blessing us.”

This was where she lost me. I don’t believe in destiny to begin with, and I have no idea what "the world blessing us" is supposed to mean. Personally, I’m more the "flip the bird at the world" type.

“The two of us will likely have to walk a path of thorns. A path that no one will bless, a path that no one will recognize.”

You just said the world was blessing us, lady! Make up your mind!

“However, legends say the hero who received power from the Goddess rose from commoner status to build wealth and fame, eventually marrying the princess of a great nation. The path of thorns is painful and bitter, but I am certain a happy future awaits us at the end.”

Is this some Holy Church dogma? Using a one-in-a-million exception like a legendary hero to bait commoners into a cult is a classic religious recruitment tactic.

“If we can overcome this Goddess’s Trial, we’ll be one step further along that thorny path. Then I’ll be able to tell my father the story of a certain brave young man.”

I see. Whoever that guy is, he’s got his work cut out for him.

“Let us overcome this path of thorns together, one step at a time. Each step will tie our love deeper and stronger.”

Ah, the old three-legged race. The spirit of mutual aid. Very "Holy Church."

“We can’t tell anyone yet, but let’s do our best for the sake of a happy future.”

“Sure thing.”

Rose reached out her hand, so I gave it a squeeze. I didn’t really get her religious views or her weird analogies, but I could get behind working toward a happy future. Happiness is important—well, my happiness, anyway.

But feeling the intensity of Rose’s gaze and her slightly sweaty palm, I decided I should probably keep my distance from her. I’m not trying to bash religion, but this kind of temperature difference is exhausting. People that high-energy should really just stick to their own kind for everyone's sake.

“Nice weather today, isn’t it?” I said, glancing out the window at the clear blue sky and green meadows. When a conversation gets awkward, the weather is the ultimate "get out of jail free" card.

“It is. The sun is quite strong; it must be hot outside,” Rose replied, looking out as well.

The interior of the carriage was shaded, but it was still warm enough to work up a light sweat. A few droplets shimmered on the nape of Rose’s white neck. Her elegantly curled, honey-colored hair swayed in the breeze, and she narrowed her light-colored eyes against the glare of the sun.

We spent a while like that, bouncing between the weather and school gossip, occasionally falling into silence as we fished for new topics.

There are different kinds of silence. Generally, they fall into two categories: comfortable and uncomfortable.

A silence where two people are actively struggling to find something to say is usually considered uncomfortable, but I don’t mind it. Seeing both parties put in the effort to keep things going is actually kind of heartwarming.

We’d been stuck in a carriage together for hours; it was only natural to run out of things to talk about. It was the futile struggle to resist that reality that made it so cozy.

After one such silence, Rose brought up a new topic.

The afternoon sun was dipping low, and the light was beginning to bleed into a deep madder red.

“The recent incident... I believe there’s more to it than meets the eye.”

“Hmm?”

The distant sunset was reflected in Rose's eyes.

“That group in black calling themselves Shadow Garden, and the man named Shadow... I believe they are likely separate organizations.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Their swordplay was fundamentally different. The men in black used common, recognizable styles. But the swordsmanship of Shadow and the women who follow him was something else entirely. It was a completely new school of combat, unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“I told the Midgar Kingdom’s Knight Order as much. I even mentioned that the group in black and Shadow were fighting each other, but the official report they released treated them as the same organization. They didn't provide a single convincing reason why. There has to be something happening behind the scenes.”

“Aren’t you overthinking it?”

“If I am, then that’s for the best. But if I’m not... if Midgar is misidentifying the enemy, it could lead to a massive disaster. The Oriana Kingdom will be conducting its own investigation, but please be careful too, Cid-kun.”

I gave her a nod.

Rose smiled softly and nodded back.

“We’ll be at the post town soon. I’ll make sure your room is right next to mine.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll just find a cheap place on my own.”

“Absolutely not. It’s dangerous. I’ll be covering the bill, of course, so don’t give it another thought.”

“Whoa, no way. That’s way too much. I couldn’t possibly.”

“Nonsense. There’s no need for restraint between us.”

In the end, I stayed in a ultra-luxury suite that cost 300,000 Zeny a night. We had dinner at a high-end restaurant, went window shopping while she picked out a full designer outfit for me, and capped the night off with some light gambling at the casino before heading back. Naturally, we got the royal treatment everywhere we went. The bed was fluffy, there was a private bath—it was the dream.

My total personal expenditure: 0 Zeny.

Honestly? Being a mob who parasites off the wealthy might be the ultimate play. If I can just ignore the religious zealotry, this lifestyle is definitely worth considering.