It is Highly Likely a Natural Phenomenon Resulting from a Combination of Various Factors, or Some Other Supernatural Phenomenon

MORDRED

I was lounging in the Royal Castle of the Oriana Kingdom, forced to endure a report from a man who looked like he was about to piss himself.

"So, word on the street is that Doem has dropped off the map," I said, leaning back.

"Y-Yes, sir..."

The man standing across from me was a Cult of Diabolos Contact Personnel. I’d made sure to sweep my snow-white hair back into a perfect, sleek look today, but this guy was too busy trembling to appreciate the aesthetic.

"Tell me what happened," I commanded.

"Y-Yesterday, at midnight, we were hit by Shadow Garden. We believe it was a small-scale tactical strike."

"You believe? That's a strong word for someone who sounds like he’s guessing."

"W-Well, nobody actually confirmed their physical forms, you see..."

"I see. And the damage?"

"We lost a significant number of executives, but we’ve already requested replacement personnel from The Cult, so it—it’s really not a problem!"

I stared at him. Is this guy for real? "You let them waltz in, assassinate our high-ranking officers, and you think that’s 'not a problem'? Our definitions of the word must be light-years apart. What about Shadow Garden’s casualties? Surely you bagged at least one of them."

"T-That’s... well... they were so terrified of our overwhelming prowess that they turned tail and fled almost immediately..."

"Alternatively," I countered, "one could say they achieved their objective and executed a clean withdrawal."

"N-No! Our official investigation of the scene concluded that they definitely ran away in fear of us!"

The color was draining from the guy’s face so fast he was practically turning translucent. Poor bastard. He’s clearly just repeating the 'face-saving' script his superiors shoved into his hand.

"What a fascinating investigation," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "So, did Shadow Garden snatch Doem, or what?"

"W-Well, as for that... it’s currently unknown."

"Unknown?"

"Y-Yes. After Shadow Garden fled, Lord Doem was right there on the scene, taking command. But then, in the middle of it all... he was just gone."

"Suddenly disappeared, huh?" I blinked. The plot thickens. Or thins. It’s hard to tell with these idiots.

"Y-Yes. Right in front of our eyes. Just... poof. Vanished. He’s gone."

"Do you honestly think a human being just 'vanishes'?"

"N-No, of course not..."

"Precisely. And I assume you performed a thorough investigation of the scene?"

"Y-Yes, sir..."

"And?"

"And... uh... would you like to hear the official results of said investigation?"

"Why else are we talking? Am I the idiot here, or are you? Or is this just a collaborative effort in stupidity?"

I gave him a look that promised a very short future. Cold sweat started pouring down his face like a damn waterfall.

"N-N-No, sir! Never! A-As a result of our investigation, we concluded that it was highly likely a crime involving an Ancient Artifact, or perhaps some unknown magic or monster... or a natural phenomenon resulting from a combination of various factors... or some other supernatural phenomenon!"

I felt a migraine coming on. I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "...So, in layman's terms, you have no idea what happened."

"Y-Yes... I mean, no! No! It was a conclusion reached after carefully considering every single possibility! It’s exhaustive! It covers the entire spectrum of reality!"

"I’m sure it does. That was truly the most 'interesting' report I've ever heard. As a reward for your... creativity, I’ll let you hear my take on the situation."

"L-Lord Mordred's view...?"

"That initial attack by a handful of people? Pure bait. A Shadow Garden trap."

"A... trap?"

"Exactly. They used the distraction to slip in the real Abduction Culprit. We’re talking a top-tier elite here. Probably one of the Seven Shadows, or maybe Shadow himself."

"S-So it really was Shadow Garden's doing?"

"Without a doubt. They have specialists who excel at disguise. My guess? The culprit snuck in, put on a mask... and played the part." I had a sudden epiphany, the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in my brilliant mind. "They were disguised as Doem the whole time."

I looked up, a smirk playing on my lips.

"They pretend to be Doem, then 'vanish' right in front of the witnesses. A little smoke and mirrors to make it look like a supernatural phenomenon. That way, nobody suspects a kidnapping. Clever, in a theatrical sort of way."

"B-But how did they actually disappear?"

"There’s always a trick. I’d need to see the scene to debunk the stage magic, but honestly? It’s much easier to make yourself 'disappear' when you’re an intruder in a mask than it is to haul a struggling victim away. Don’t you agree?"

"T-That makes a lot of sense..."

"Well, whatever. The point is, Doem is gone and the Royal Capital is under siege. I imagine Shadow Garden is already crawling through the city like vermin..."

I couldn't help but let out a dry chuckle.

"W-What should we do, sir? The plan is starting to suffer from some serious discrepancies."

"Who knows? I think things just got a whole lot more entertaining than the original plan. Once word of Doem's Disappearance gets out, the Anti-Doem Faction is going to crawl out of the woodwork like cockroaches."

"W-We must deal with them immediately, then!"

"No, don't bother. Let them gather. In fact, encourage it. Since things have gone this far, I’m just going to end the Oriana Kingdom entirely. But before that, it’s best to sweep all the Trash into one pile before I incinerate it."

"Y-You don't mean you're going to use that?!"

I didn't bother answering. I just smiled.

And then, I took his head off.

Blood sprayed across the floor as his headless body crumpled into a heap. Clean cut. I've still got it.

"Come on then, Shadow Garden—show me what you've really got."