The Get-Rich-Quick Unit

An aptitude test for prospective soldiers was being held just outside a town that looked to have a population of maybe ten thousand.

The sky was a brilliant blue—the first clear day in ages—and the snow blanketing the plains shimmered in the light.

About a hundred scruffy-looking men had gathered for the occasion. I slipped into the crowd, doing my best impression of a generic young man who’d stood up for his country.

"Hehehe, you hear that? Apparently, you can make unit leader in just three days. I quit my job for this!"

"No kidding. Word is, striking it rich isn’t just a pipe dream. I sold my fields to get here!"

"They say even total rookies can make it big. I even put my wife in hock!"

All around me, blue-collar middle-aged dudes were chatting with sky-high spirits. Ah, I can already smell the wonderful aroma of a workplace overflowing with dreams and hope.

"Welcome, brave warriors who have stood up for your country!!"

A bald man as fat as a pig waddled into view. Clad in a fluttering, nouveau riche outfit and wearing a suspicious smirk, the cueball spoke in a shrill, high-pitched voice.

"My name is TSURUPIKANO. I am very, very pleased to see so many high-minded warriors gathered here today! Without further ado, you shall all undergo an aptitude test! This is a necessary step to ensure we provide the stage where you can play the most active roles!"

Then, a group of sinister-looking soldiers appeared from behind the bald man.

Yeah, okay. No matter how you look at them, those aren't regular army.

"Hey, Mr. Tsurupikano. I'm QUINTON, a former mercenary," one man called out. "Before we start the test, there’s something I want to know. Are you guys actually the King’s soldiers?"

Nice. Quinton-san—a guy who looked exactly like a former mercenary turned villainous pro-wrestler—stepped up to ask the big question. I felt like I’d seen him somewhere before, though.

"Umu, umu! A very reasonable doubt! But please, rest assured! I am recruiting you all at the behest of a prestigious, long-established great noble! Behold, here is the certificate!"

Quinton took the document Tsurupikano held out and gave it a look.

"Whoa, it’s true! It’s got the seal of that legendary great noble right here! If we follow Mr. Tsurupikano, striking it rich is a done deal!"

Quinton shouted this at the top of his lungs, then handed the paper back to Tsurupikano without actually showing it to anyone else.

"What, for real?! If a veteran mercenary says so, it’s gotta be legit!"

"Hell yeah! Selling my fields was the right call!"

"Damn straight! I’ll be able to buy my wife back in no time!"

The old guys started whipped themselves into a frenzy.

I see, I see. So this is one of those 'get-rich-quick' setups. It’s nice to have dreams.

"And so, we shall begin the aptitude tests! You should be honored, for your examiner is the scion of that prestigious great noble—the one and only Lord GOLDOH KINMEKKI!!"

"Whoaa!!"

The crowd got even rowdier.

Standing there was a knight who looked like a pampered young master from a wealthy family, sporting blond hair and flashy, gold-colored armor. I felt like I’d seen him somewhere too, but it was probably just my imagination.

"W-wow, look at all that gold. But who is he?"

"I-I don’t know, but I can feel a noble Aura coming off him. That fortune is as good as ours!"

"C-could he be of royal blood...? I can see it now... my rise from the fourth son of a dirt-poor farmer to the top of the world!"

He does look like a genuine noble, so maybe, just maybe... Yeah, let's go with that.

"Now then, I am Goldoh Kinmekki. Despite my appearance, I am a hardcore practical combatant. We will conduct the aptitude tests one by one. I’ll have each of you spar with me using your weapon of choice. First... let’s start with you. Quinton, was it?"

"Heh, starting with me, huh...?"

"I can tell just by looking—you’re quite strong."

"Hmph. Right back at ya..."

The two of them took their stances with their swords in a heavily theatrical manner. Both seemed to be Spellswords.

Then, they started clashing with absurd flashiness.

It was like an action scene from a movie—completely unnecessary flair, 100% focused on looking cool. If I were adding sound effects, it would be CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! THUD! CRACK! KABOOM!

"Oooohh!!"

"Amazing!!"

"So cool!!"

The biggest cheers of the day erupted from the crowd.

I mean, any decent Spellsword can do that. It’s just flashy. It’s pretty obvious they aren't actually trying to hit each other... No, no. A mob character isn’t supposed to notice stuff like that.

The two of them slammed their Magic Power into the snow to create a massive explosion, then sheathed their blades in unison.

"Quinton... you are as strong as I expected..."

"Same to you..."

"Very well! Quinton, I’m putting you in charge of the rookies! Any objections?!"

Naturally, no one objected. There were a few other Spellswords in the mix, but none of them looked like they could take Quinton.

Guess I’ll have to suck up to Quinton-san later like a true background character.

"And one more thing, Quinton. As the coordinator for the rookies, you shall also serve as a unit leader!"

"What?! A unit leader on my very first day?!"

Goldoh and Quinton continued their scripted performance.

"That’s right! Because this is a wonderful unit where hard work is rewarded!"

"Incredible! Does that mean there's a chance for the other guys too?!"

"Of course! As long as you follow the unit leader’s orders, everyone will have an equal opportunity!"

"Uoooooh! I might actually get promoted too!! I’ll be rich within a month!!"

"Now! Let’s proceed with the tests! Who knows, perhaps a second unit leader will emerge today!!"

"UOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!!"

The crowd’s hype was off the charts thanks to their little exchange.

And so, the aptitude tests continued.