My Name Is Pooch! Nice To Meet You All!

“So, basically, you and Zenon-sensei are engaged, and I’m just the stalking horse.”

I was confronting Alexia behind the school building after class.

“Not engaged. We are potential fiancés,” Alexia corrected with a perfectly composed face.

“Either way is fine.”

“It is most certainly not fine. They’ve been forcing the matter forward before anything has even been decided, and it’s been a real headache.”

“That’s also fine—meaning I don’t care. Sorry, but I have no intention of getting dragged into your personal drama.”

“My, how heartless for a boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend? You just wanted a convenient stalking horse to hide behind, didn't you?”

“Well, yes. But we’re both in the same boat, aren't we?”

Alexia flashed me a nasty little smirk.

“Same boat? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, playing dumb? The great Cid Kagenou, who confessed to me because of a lost punishment game.”

Alexia’s smile deepened.

Okay, wait a second. Let's stay calm.

“How cruel... to toy with a maiden's pure heart like that,” she said, sobbing fake tears. This was coming from a woman who didn't possess a single shred of maidenly purity in her entire body.

It’s fine. I’m a professional. I’m calm.

“I have no idea what you're talking about. Do you actually have any proof?”

Yes, proof. That was the key. No matter how much she suspected me, as long as those two didn't betray me, the evidence was—

“Was his name Jaga-kun? When I spoke to him, his face turned bright red and he started blabbing everything—including a bunch of things I didn't even ask. He’s such a good friend, isn't he?”

I maintained my mental equilibrium by imagining myself pulverizing Jaga into a bowl of mashed potatoes.

“Are you okay? Your cheek is twitching pretty violently.”

“I’m fine. My personality is twisted, so my face follows suit.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Still better than yours, though.”

“Hmm? Did you say something?”

“Nothing. So... what do you want?”

I admitted defeat. My only mistake had been my choice of friends.

“Let’s see...” Alexia crossed her arms and leaned back against the school wall. “For starters, you’re going to keep pretending to be my boyfriend. The deadline is whenever that man finally gives up.”

“I’m just the son of a Baron. Honestly, I don't have the social standing to be a convincing stalking horse.”

“I know that. I just need to buy time. I’ll handle the rest myself.”

“Also, I don't want to get into anything dangerous. The guy is a swordsmanship instructor. If something happens, I’m useless.”

“God, you’re noisy. Stop grumbling.”

With that, Alexia reached into her pocket and scattered gold coins across the ground.

“Pick them up.”

One hundred thousand Zeny per coin. There were at least ten of them.

“Heh. Do I look like the kind of man who can be bought with money?” I asked, already down on all fours, meticulously gathering them one by one.

“You do.”

“Spot on.”

Eleven, twelve, thirteen... Oh, there’s one more!

Just as I reached for the final coin, Alexia’s loafer stomped down on it.

I looked up. Alexia’s crimson eyes were looking down at me. I could see right up her pleated skirt.

“You’re going to listen to me like a good boy, right?” she asked, her smile oozing with malice.

“Of course I am.”

I gave her my best hundred-watt smile.

“Good boy, Pooch.”

Alexia patted my head, then walked off with her short skirt fluttering in the breeze. I carefully wiped her footprint off the gold coin and tucked it into my pocket.

◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

I’d been cutting back on my sleep to keep up with my training even after enrolling in the academy, but my free time took a hit once I started this fake relationship with Alexia.

“Come with me.”

With that single command, I was dragged to the Royal Capital Bushin Style Division 1 classroom in the predawn hours.

The two of us were the only ones in the cavernous room. The morning sun filtered in, filling the space with a quiet, still atmosphere.

Early morning practice.

Alexia swung her sword with single-minded devotion. I stood beside her, swinging mine in kind.

She was sincere when it came to the blade. I didn't dislike that about her—that one specific trait, anyway.

We didn't speak. We simply swung our swords in silence. Surprisingly, I didn't find the time spent like this painful at all.

“Your sword is strange,” Alexia noted. “The basics are solid. But that’s it. There’s nothing else there.”

She trailed off.

Of course there isn't. I was suppressing everything—power, speed, magic power, and technical skill. All that remained was the bare foundation.

“For some reason, I can’t take my eyes off it.”

“Thanks.”

Outside, I could hear the birds chirping. It sounded like a beautiful song, but in reality, they were screaming at each other over territory. A total bloodbath.

“But I still hate your sword,” Alexia said.

After that, we didn't say another word as we continued to swing.