Word on the Street Is He's Blackmailing Her...

"This makes no sense!"

"It really doesn't."

"Totally bizarre, isn't it?"

The next day at lunch, I recounted the previous day's events to my two mob friends in the cafeteria. The three of us reached a unanimous conclusion: no matter how you looked at it, this situation was just wrong.

"Let’s be real, you don't have the specs to date Princess Alexia," Hyoro said. "I mean, even my chances would be questionable, right?"

That was Hyoro. He was the second son of the Baron Gari Family. He was tall and lanky, and while he clearly put effort into his appearance, his fashion sense was atrocious. From a distance, you might mistake him for a guy with a "cool vibe," but if you got any closer... yeah, no. Definitely not.

Despite the ego, Hyoro Gari obviously didn't have the specs to date Princess Alexia either. I knew this for a fact because he was a mob friend I had personally vetted.

"If Cid could pull it off, maybe I could have too," Jaga lamented. "Man, I should have been the one to confess."

That was Jaga. He was the second son of the Baron Imo Family. Small and chunky, he was the kind of spud-like guy you’d find on any high school baseball team. From a distance, up close, or from any conceivable angle, he was a masterpiece of a human being who couldn't even manage an "atmospheric" cool vibe.

Naturally, he was also a pure-bred mob who stood zero chance with Princess Alexia.

Oh, by the way, my name is Cid. Cid Kagenou. As long as I’m using this name, I, too, am a pure-bred mob.

"Look, it's not actually a good thing," I told them. "It feels like there’s some scary hidden motive behind it all. Besides, we live in different worlds."

"Probably," Hyoro agreed. "You don't have the natural charisma I do. What do you give it—a week?"

"More like three days," Jaga chimed in. "Just look around."

Following Jaga's lead, I scanned our surroundings. Everyone in the cafeteria was glancing my way and whispering.

Look, that's him...

No way! He's so... average.

It has to be some kind of mistake...

Actually, he's kind of my type...

Gross! Really?

And then, there were the darker whispers.

I heard he's blackmailing her. Some guy named Hyoro Gari was saying so.

Are you serious? I’m gonna kill that guy...

We'll make it look like an accident during training...

If I don't step up now, I can't call myself a man...

My hearing was sharp enough to catch almost all of it. I made a point to glare at Hyoro Gari.

"Hm? Something wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing."

The friendship of mobs is a fleeting, fragile thing.

"But seriously, what am I supposed to do?" I asked. "It would be weird to dump her right after I confessed."

Dumping a princess isn't very mob-like. Then again, dating one already blew my cover.

"Who cares? Just date her," Hyoro said with a smirk. "If you're lucky, you might even get to second base."

"Exactly," Jaga added. "Even if it’s a mistake, you're dating a princess. It's a waste to back down just because of a few obstacles."

"It's not that simple..."

While we sat there, my reputation was ballooning, carrying me further and further away from the life of an ordinary Mob A.

"Still, since things turned out like this, we have to keep the Punishment Game a secret," Jaga noted.

"Yeah," I agreed. "If that leaks, it'll be a disaster. So I’m counting on you guys. Especially you, Hyoro."

"Me? My lips are sealed."

"Of course, I won't say a word either," Jaga promised.

"I’m serious. Don't screw this up."

I let out a heavy sigh and started on my 980 Zeny Poor Noble Course daily special. I wanted to eat fast and get out of this uncomfortable cafeteria as quickly as possible.

Right then, it happened.

A 100,000 Zeny Super Rich Noble Course daily special was efficiently laid out on the table across from me by a team of maids.

And then...

"Is this seat taken?"

Princess Alexia had arrived.

Dammit, I knew it. That’s why I was trying to eat fast.

"P-p-p-p-please, be our guest!"

"I-i-i-if a seat like this is okay, by all means!"

Hyoro and Jaga’s responses were the epitome of small-fry energy. Wait, weren't these the same guys talking big about how they could date her themselves just a second ago? Ah, well. They really were the pure-bred mobs I had acknowledged them to be.

In more ways than one, I felt like crying.

"I don't see why not," I said to Alexia, who was still waiting for my answer.

"Thank you." She took her seat.

"Nice weather today," I said, figuring a weather check would buy me some time.

"It is," she replied.

The vapid conversation continued. She began eating her extravagant lunch with perfectly refined movements. I guess princesses really do have good manners. Lower nobles like us are basically just commoners with a fresh coat of paint, after all.

"The Super Rich Noble Course has a ridiculous amount of food, doesn't it?" I remarked.

"Yes. I can never finish it all."

"That seems like a waste."

"To be honest, a cheaper course would be fine, but if I don't order this one, it makes it difficult for everyone else to order what they want."

"Oh, I get it. If you can't finish it, can I have some?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"Don't worry about manners. This is just a lower noble's table."

I reached over and snatched the main meat dish from the bewildered Alexia, stuffing my face before she could complain. Wow, this is good.

"Ah..."

"I'll take the fish, too."

"Wait a minute...!"

Score. Luck is on my side today. Thanks to her, my stomach was in paradise. My attitude toward Alexia had been consistently casual since yesterday for a very specific reason.

Operation: "Dump Me Already, Dammit!" was in full swing.

"Haaa... fine. Whatever."

"Thanks for the food. See ya."

"Wait right there!"

My plan to beat a smooth retreat after scavenging her meal failed. I reluctantly sat back down.

"Your practical application class this afternoon is Royal Capital Bushin Style, correct?"

"Pretty much."

The academy split the day into basic subjects in the morning and practical skills in the afternoon. Basics were done by class, but the practicals were electives where grades and classes were all mixed together. You chose the style that suited you from a variety of martial schools.

"I’m also in the Royal Capital Bushin Style, so I thought we should attend together."

"No, that's impossible. You're in Section 1, Alexia. I’m in Section 9."

The Bushin Style was a popular choice. With fifty people per section, there were nine sections in total. They were divided by skill level, and since I was a fresh enrollment, I was still in the bottom tier. I was planning to eventually settle somewhere around Section 5.

"I had a seat opened for you in Section 1 on my recommendation, so it’s fine."

"That is the exact opposite of fine. Believe me, I know."

"Then perhaps I should move down to Section 9?"

"Please don't. I'll have nowhere left to stand."

"It's one or the other. Choose."

"No."

"It is a royal command."

"...Section 1 it is."

And so, my lunch came to an end.

Hyoro and Jaga remained as motionless as decorative ornaments until the very end.