The Games of Those Ignorant of the Shadow World

Upon turning fifteen, I enrolled at the Midgar Academy for Spellswords in the Royal Capital. It’s supposedly the top institution on the continent, a place where promising young spellswords gather from across the country and beyond.

I spent my first two months there keeping my grades in the lower-middle tier, just like any good background character should. During that time, I kept my eyes peeled for any A-list protagonist types.

I found one.

Princess Alexia Midgar. She was the ultimate heavy hitter.

Even a chimpanzee could tell she was a big deal just by hearing the name "Midgar Princess."

Apparently, she has an older sister named Princess Iris Midgar who’s an even bigger superstar, but unfortunately, she had already graduated by the time I arrived.

Now, I decided it was time to launch a massive Mob Event involving Princess Alexia. Or, more accurately, I was forced into it after losing a punishment game.

Yeah, that’s the one. The quintessential mob trope: "Confessing to the most popular girl because you lost a punishment game."

And so, there I was on the rooftop of the school building, facing off against Princess Alexia from a respectful distance.

She had silver hair cut sharply at her shoulders and almond-shaped red eyes that were, well, pretty. I guess. She had a perfectly sculpted, "cool beauty" sort of face, but... honestly, it’s just a hassle to describe. Yeah, yeah, you’re gorgeous, I thought. Unfortunately for her, I’d grown bored of looking at beautiful women thanks to Alpha and the others. In my opinion, people are better off with a few flaws; it gives them character.

Now, I wasn’t the only reckless idiot to challenge Alexia. In the two months since she’d enrolled, over a hundred morons had already confessed to her, only to be cut down by a single, cold sentence:

"I’m not interested."

I mean, it makes sense. She’s a princess; she’s destined for a political marriage after graduation. She has no time for schoolboy crushes. Then again, the nobles confessing to her were in the same boat. Most of them had political marriages waiting for them a few years down the line, too. That’s exactly why they wanted to squeeze in a little romance while they were still in school.

Well, whatever. At the end of the day, it was all just the games of those ignorant of the shadow world.

However, I had a mission to fulfill by mingling in those games as a mob. Getting harshly rejected by the school idol because of a punishment game was a top-tier Mob Event. By executing this perfectly, I would become the ideal "Mob A" I had always envisioned. Every step toward being a perfect mob was a step toward my ultimate goal: becoming the Eminence in Shadow.

I had stayed up all night preparing for this very moment. How should I do it? What should I say? What would be the most "mob-like" way to confess?

I hadn't just agonized over the word choice. I had researched everything—from the slight stutter in my delivery to the pitch of my voice and the exact amount of vibrato to use. I had finally mastered the ultimate "Mob Confession," and now, I stood upon the field of battle.

A decisive battle.

Yes, for a mob, this was a clash of destinies.

The Eminence in Shadow has his battles, and a mob has his.

Therefore, at this very moment, I had to give it my absolute all as a background character.

I steeled my resolve and looked her in the eye.

Princess Alexia... you’re standing there with such a composed face, but if I were to seriously draw my sword right now, your head and torso would be separated in an instant. You are, after all, only a person of that level.

Now, behold!

This is the most mob-like confession in the history of the world!

"P-P-P... Princess Alexi-th."

I carved out the "P-P-P" with a sharp staccato, added a pathetic vibrato to the silence, let the pitch of "Alexia" wobble up and down, and delivered a masterful slur on "Princess."

"I-I weally like you...!"

I let my gaze wander toward the ground to avoid her eyes, making my knees tremble just a tiny bit.

"P-P-Please gow out with meee...?"

The lines themselves were boring and cliché—the "royal road" of confessions—but my pronunciation, pitch, and articulation were all over the place. I ended on a weak, rising intonation to maximize my aura of total insecurity.

It was perfect!

This was the "Mob A" I had always dreamed of being.

I was satisfied. Deeply, truly satisfied.

"Okay. I look forward to it."

"Huh?"

I was already turning to leave, basking in my success, when I heard what must have been a hallucination.

"I said, I look forward to our relationship."

"Wait... what?"

"I said yes."

Something was very, very wrong.

"W-Well, I guess we should walk back to the dorms together."

I ended up walking all the way back to the dorms with Princess Alexia. She gave me a pleasant smile and a "see you tomorrow" before we parted. The moment I got back to my room, I face-planted onto my bed, buried my face in the pillow, and screamed.

"WHY THE HELL DID I END UP ON THE LOVE COMEDY PROTAGONIST ROUTE!?!?"